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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
kaydee. Offline
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I don't know why. - October 25th 2013, 06:14 AM

So, I started cutting about 6 years ago, and to be honest I don't even remember why I started.
I've been through hell and back I guess, but in my opinion it's kind of stupid that I don't have a reason to cut.. if that makes any sense.
Does anyone believe that you have to have a certain reason to do something?
Things happen to me a lot, bad things, and that's how I cope by cutting.. but I don't know why I do it, and I don't know why I like it.
The thing that sucks is that I've been going through this by myself, I have no one to trust with this secret, the only person that knows isn't even in my life anymore, and I don't have much of a family.. never did.
I don't want to feel like this anymore, I just feel like I don't deserve to cut.





~If you can't change it; change the way you think about it.
   
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Re: I don't know why. - October 25th 2013, 07:04 AM

Hey there!

I understand more or less where you are coming from. And from reading what you posted you more or less answered your question. You use it as a coping skill to deal with your past, some even do it because they feel like they deserve it for 1 reason or another. Whatever you've been through, I'm sorry that you have and there are alternatives to cutting that you can find on the Alternative sticky located at the top of the SH forum. If you ever need anyone to talk too feel free to find me/message me!
   
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Re: I don't know why. - October 30th 2013, 08:37 PM

Don't feel bad. Everyone self harms for different reasons and many of them are similar. However, it isn't the right thing to do. It can consume your whole life if you let it...and it might for awhile if you have a taste for it Just keep taking one step at a time and you'll find your way. You are right, you don't deserve to cut! You don't deserve to punish yourself...you didn't do anything wrong. Yes, people make mistakes, but that is what makes us human. Please message me if you need someone to vent to, I know what it's like to go through this without a clue on what to do.


   
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Re: I don't know why. - October 31st 2013, 03:44 AM

Hi there,

I'm so sorry you've been struggling with this, it sucks, and you certainly don't deserve it. I used to cut, and had absolutely no reason to. My life was great, I had a nice family, home, good friends, etc. I did it for two years, and now I'm four years and three months clean. It does get better, I can promise you that.

Ask yourself, "when I cut, how does it make me feel afterwards?" or right before you cut, stop and ask yourself, "what am I feeling at this very moment?" Examine what incident may have happened that day, or what's been on your mind, or what you've been feeling lately. Maybe you can pinpoint what is compelling you to harm yourself. I'd say you might have a trigger you haven't discovered yet, and once you find it, it'll be that much easier to kick this habit.

You can also check out the sticky at the top of this forum for alternatives to self harm.
Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk, I'm always here <3 chin up, buttercup <3


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Darling you are the only exception. ~Paramore ♡
   
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Re: I don't know why. - November 2nd 2013, 06:05 PM

I understand how it feels that you have no reason to cut. I feel like that. I feel as if I have no reason to be depressed because compared to a lot of people my life is heaven. I wish you did not feel the need to cut. Things change and sometimes you need to be part of the change to get better. I'm sorry I wish I could be more help.
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Re: I don't know why. - November 2nd 2013, 08:30 PM

Kaydee:
Believe me, what you're saying does make sense! You don't really understand why you cut; it just seems to be the best way to cope with this unexplainable pain you feel. Been there, done that, honey.
Not everything that happens has to have a reason. I think whoever came up with that quote was quite OCD! They seemed to desire every little thing to have a specific reason for being there or for happening.
Sometimes things happen that we don't understand, and that we can't pin a reason to. For example, your cutting habit.
It's a process, my dear.
The best thing to do right now is to look into talking to someone about this. I know, it's extremely hard! But I've had to do it. I've only been cutting for two years, but in that time span my life has been in danger more times than I can count on one hand. My guidance counselor at my school was very understanding, and I remember her telling me, "You can tell me anything you want. I guarantee you, nothing will surprise me." She is a very good listener, and my last visit marked the third time I'd gone to see her. She's even recommended another counselor, who actually works at the hospital. Apparently, she's very helpful, and I've been really considering accepting the offer to talk with her.
I know you're scared, and I know you will probably read this and go, "Counseling? Ah, no." Hey, no problem. I looked at my bestfriend and said the same thing when she suggested it to me! And now look at me. Yes, I've still done it, but I haven't been suicidal, and I've been able to go for longer periods with no cuts.
I strongly encourage you to find a counselor, or at least a trustworthy adult who can help you find a counselor. They're here to help you, I promise! And they really do help!
The best of luck to you, my dear! PM me anytime if you ever want to talk. I'm on here quite a bit and I'm always willing to talk! Trust me - nothing will surprise me, either!


"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." - Winnie the Pooh
   
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Re: I don't know why. - November 7th 2013, 02:16 AM

Now after the past 6 years of hell I am happy however I would love to cut again. I wouldnt have a reason either except the pleasure? Im not sure if I am answering this right. Well Ive struggled with depression and the best way for me to deal with it is to write Microsoft word documents about how much I hate people. Is that just me? Well Its not bad you dont have a reason however I really hope you can overcome this because I would hate to see my friend fall through the cracks due to depression... Sorry if you dont consider me a friend but anyone who knows what its like to hate the world and every inch of your body is my friend. I love you ok? Music helps too. Music helps a lot. So much.

Please PM me if you want to talk. I'd really enjoy talking to you (:



❤ Sarah ❤ Anne ❤
   
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