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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - October 30th 2013, 01:05 AM

Say you're wearing a sweater to cover scars on your arms and it's really warm wherever you are, or it's summertime. Do you keep your sleeves down, or do you roll them up?
Do you think it's better for scars to be hidden, or do you think it's safe to roll up the sleeves and be proud that you got through it?


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - October 30th 2013, 10:27 AM

Hey there,

Honestly, I think it is a matter of who you are around. Most of my scars are not on my arms, but they do show if I'm in something like a bathing suit or some types of dress. I am still uncomfortable showing my scars around family members, but with friends, I don't seem to mind. So, if I'm with people I'm comfortable with, I don't care whether my scars are showing or not. It all depends on a person's comfort level and what they feel okay with, but there's nothing wrong with showing your scars if it's warm out or you're wearing something without long sleeves.

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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - October 30th 2013, 11:14 AM

I agree with Dez, it's perfectly fine for you to show your scars if you're comfortable with it or are way too UNcomfortable walking around all day in the hot sun wearing long sleeves. I would just be mindful of who you are around because there are people who would freak out or shun anyone that they see self harms because they don't understand it.
With me, unless they're fresh I'll show them. I don't really care what others think about them and I kind of love them in a way. I view them as a intimate part of who I am, how I feel or have felt inside, and what I've been through and come out on the other end stronger. But, whatever you do, don't feel shame because you have scars. The truth is we all have them, yours are just carved into your skin. And in my opinion it's a very brave thing for you to do to show and express your innermost pain, but it can and really should be done in a less self-depricating way. Trust me there are ways to express yourselves that are much better and can speak just as loud as self harm.
I wish you the best of luck chica <3


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 1st 2013, 10:58 PM

Thank you so much for the feedback guys! I did show my bestfriend my arms today, and she took it pretty good. She did know I cut, and I have been showing her through pictures, but it was the first time I actually showed her my scars in person. I think her positive response plus your positive responses gave me the boost I needed. I have actually been considering opening up to my sister, as well, so. Thanks again guys!


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 2nd 2013, 02:45 AM

It's really awesome that you decided to open up to your friend, and I hope that you do decide to talk to your sister as well! The more support you have the merrier, so it's great you're starting to open up! You're doing great.


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 2nd 2013, 03:41 PM

Yeah... doing "great". I thought November was gonna be a totally clean month, but it looks like my arms are gonna be torn up again pretty soon.


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 3rd 2013, 02:53 PM

You are a very strong person to have showed your friend your scars, I know how hard it is to to that. It is perhaps the hardest step to take towards recovery for self harm.
And I'm sorry that you've been feeling so down lately, but just know that it's perfectly fine for you to feel that way. I often beat myself up for feeling certain things, but that's like beating yourself up for being human. As if you could do anything about that.
Relapsing doesn't make you weak either, quitting is a really hard thing and we all occasionally slip. I recently tried to quit. I went nine days, five or which were spent in a mental hospital, and then relapsed. Twice. So now I'm back to square one.
But I think you should try some alternatives, have you checked out the list they have on this forum? It can be helpful. What helps me is to identify the reason why I want to self harm and what need I feel it will satisfy, and then find an alternative that's best suited to fulfill that need. Such as I want to self harm because my emotions are running high and I think that it will provide me with calmness and relief. Instead of self harming you can take a warm, relaxing bath. Also, there is the butterfly project, where you draw a butterfly(s) on your wrist and write the name of someone you care for and love deeply on it. If you cut then you metaphorically kill that person. And you can't wipe it off, you have to wait for it to naturally fade. Another thing that helps me is to pretend that I'm a friend that just told me they want to self harm. I will provide that friend with love and support and say things to help them not self harm and then I will take all of that and turn it towards myself.
I hope this helps some. I wish you the best of luck on your journey <3


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 3rd 2013, 07:26 PM

Thanks guys!


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 3rd 2013, 09:40 PM

Personally I love the idea of being strong enough to show them, but I'm not quite there yet myself - I keep them covered up and lie, lie, lie at any questions. However it's great if you're comfortable enough to show them yourself, see it as an achievement (: Remember everyone has slip-ups my love and you can and will keep going. Five years ago self-harm was my everyday life and I didn't even want to quit, now I'm four and a half years free and doing fine every day. If I can do it anyone can. Take care sweetie.xxx


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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 4th 2013, 12:51 AM

I live in Arizona so I keep them covered when I can, but for 8 months out of the year, I can't; for a while it was pretty scary walking around with my arms literally covered in scars. But not a lot of people asked about it; I still get the occasional "what'd you get those from?" "what happened to you?" and I tell them "I fought a monster and I won." and just remember that anyone else's opinion is only their opinion. I know that sometimes the stares, if you get them, can be extremely difficult to deal with, but you're a tiger and you earned your stripes. you came out of this alive and anyone who wants to put you down for showing your strength and that you're a survivor is too ignorant and close minded to understand. take care <3


   
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Re: Covering up scars: Yay or Nay? - November 4th 2013, 01:40 AM

Honestly, this is a personal decision that you have to make. There are people who a comfortable walking around with their scars showing and I think that is great but there are just as many people who are not as comfortable wearing things that show off their scars. It can be really hard to walk around with your scars showing and so I think you have to decide what makes you the most comfortable and do it. Something to remember is that while it might be really uncomfortable at first the more you do it the easier it can get. I wear arm warmers and due to the severity of my scars they don't cover all of my scars so when I first started wearing them it was really uncomfortable but as time has gone on I have gotten more and more comfortable with the arm warmers. So, I would assume that with time you can grow more comfortable with it as well.


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