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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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He's gone again - October 31st 2013, 06:54 PM

He's gone again and I'm left alone. I want to burn so bad. The urges are killing me and I want to. No not want I need to. I need to feel that biting pain. I know it sounds crazy but that's what I need. Is anyone willing to talk? Please anyone
   
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Re: He's gone again - October 31st 2013, 07:20 PM

Hey there,

I'm not sure why he is gone, but is there any way you can keep in touch with him? If not, I do apologize for bringing it up, but a text or a phone call is definitely better than nothing if that is a possibility.

Maybe you can also find things to do to take your mind off of him for a while. For instance, if you have other friends and family member you can hang out with, you can do that. You don't have to talk about what's going on if you don't want to (though, it's recommended that you do get support), but it can help a lot to have fun with someone, whether it's going to the mall, watching a movie, or just being with them. If you have a hobby or skill, you can do this as well, or take a class like painting or cooking to learn a new skill. If you're school age, you can focus on schoolwork and maybe join clubs, social groups, or sports teams to meet new people, make friends so you don't feel alone, and have fun. Even if you're not in school maybe your town will have something.

This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. Self harm doesn't really solve the problems you are facing at all, and instead can make them worse when you have to worry about infection or hiding the burns from anyone you don't want to see. Instead, why not use one of those? They're healthier, safer ways to cope so you won't have to worry about the above problems. I find self expression like writing, art, or music great ways to cope, but there are other ways as well. If one doesn't work, don't get discouraged. There are plenty more out there where that came from!

Is there anyone in your life you can talk to? If you are school-age, you can speak to teachers, school nurses, and guidance counselors. You can talk to friends or family members, or family friends. You can talk to coaches, club advisers, or religious leaders. Or, you can even speak to someone like a doctor or therapist. There is always someone who will be willing to listen and help you through, your voice does deserve to be heard.

Keep your head held high, stay strong, and keep fighting. The fight is so worth it and you can get through whatever is going on. You are never alone and there is always someone out there willing to listen.

-Dez


   
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Re: He's gone again - November 1st 2013, 02:29 AM

He's in the military..
I'm an army wife.
Thank you for the link and suggestions.
At the momemt I'll be three years clean on december 18.
I don't want to break my streak
   
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Re: He's gone again - November 1st 2013, 10:16 PM

Three years! That's amazing! I've recently attempted to stop. I went 9 days(5 of which were spent in a mental hospital) and then relapsed today. You are a very strong person to have made it three years without self-harming, just keep reminding yourself that if you've made it this far without it, you can continue on without it as well.
Dez is right about the alternatives, they are helpful and are a much better way of coping. I find it helpful to identify the reason why you want to self-harm(expressing or relieving intense emotions, to feel some emotion, to calm yourself, to punish yourself, to 'control' your pain) and what you feel you need from it(the pain, the numb or high feeling it can provide, the blood, ability to see phisical damage, feeling appropriately punished, etc.) And find the coping skill best suited to provide you what you feel you need from self harm, so that you can get it in a healthier, safer way.
Stay strong chica, you can do it. I wish you the best of luck. <3


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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