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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 12:26 AM

Exactly what the title says for ten days I am completely screwed. My support person who I go to when I feel like cutting is in Spain for ten days so she basically is unreachable. Anyways I feel like cutting just because I know I'm on my own for ten days and I basically have no one else to go to for help. If the only advise you are going to give me is a link to alternatives then don't post anything because that stupid shit don't work the only thing that works 99% of the time is talking to her. I just feel so frustrated and want to cut which is really stupid because i shouldn't be counting on other people.

I'M JUST COMPLETELY FUCKED!


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 06:41 AM

Frankie,

We at Teenhelp are hear to support you in any way that we can, but we can only help if you let us; you can't say that all alternatives to SH don't work, everyone has atleast one, they just need to find it.

My advice to you would be to stick around here, get to know people on the forum and speak to them for advice, or talk to them like you would your support counsellor, this esy we can understand what you're going through, and try and give you some advice.

My favourite alternative to SH is venting, just get some paper and write down everything you're feeling, you can scribble, rip it, burn it, whatever when you're done, but this way your damaging the paper, not your forearms.

I hope you take my advice, and stay strong.
~Jack.


PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.



"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.

Last edited by Ral.; November 12th 2013 at 06:59 AM. Reason: -
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 06:45 AM

First of all I know that I have been on this site long than you. And I'm not trying to be rude but do not tell me that an alternative will work because I HAVE tried everything and they DO NOT WORK!


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 07:04 AM

Thanks for bringing up that you've been here longer, very relevant to your recovery. At the time I posted I hadn't checked your profile, or your join date. It was just a suggestion.

You're asking for the impossible, you should know that we aren't a pro-sh forum, so what can we do if you're rudely insulting people that try and help or give you alternatives?

I'll leave this thread to someone else..
Sorry for the insult, I guess.

~Jack.


PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.



"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.
   
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 07:12 AM

Whatever I didn't insult you I pointed out the obvious. And in my original post i said ive tried every alternative and they didn't work but you brought it up anyway so it pissed me off.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 10:37 AM

Hi there,

I do apologize that the alternatives option upset you. I don't think that was anyone's goal here.

I know it's not the same as physically talking to your friend, but maybe you can write letters or emails getting everything out to her in the meantime. If you send her emails, you can title them something like: "Don't open until you get home/have time" if you think that she can access her email at all. At least by writing her letters or emails, you'll have vented things to her and she'll have something to read to get up to speed when she gets back.

I do think that you should work on expanding your support system, though. I know it may be tough to do this, but you can't always rely on one sole person or you'll get into situations like this, where you can't contact them. At least with a support system around you there's a likelihood of being able to get in touch with at least one of them. It can be another friend or relative, doctor, or even a therapist, for instance.

I know the alternatives thread is off limits, but has anyone showed you the list of hotlines? They're organized by country. Maybe you can call one of those and talk things through there?

I remember on another post you'd mentioned that you'd gone eight months without self harm. Surely, during that time, you had urges. Was your friend always there during that time, or was she ever unavailable, even for a day, or a few hours? During that time, what sort of things did you do to keep from self harming? Try and recall those things, if there is anything, and use those to your advantage.

But, you are the only one who can put in the effort. We can give you suggestions on what to do, but you'd be the only one who can implement these suggestions, or find something that works for you. If you want to put in the effort to go self harm free for these ten days, I bet you can!

-Dez


   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 01:57 PM

Alright, so you tried all the alternatives, apparently they didn't work, and you want us to do what? As Jack said before, we help people that allow us to help without saying "meh this shit not gonna work" and making your posts sound so rude (not to say - insolent) is certainly not gonna make us more eager to support you.

We're not specialists, we do our best everytime we try to help somebody, and if the only way of telling us your problems is to discharge your anger at us, I'd suggest looking for some other forums. Your time on this forum doesn't matter, neither your age, and it certainly doesn't give you a right to be such a douche to everybody.

If you say you shouldn't be counting on the other people, why the hell are you even posting this? I can't see any sense or logic in your thinking.

I don't care about what you say about this post, neither I care about what happens to it.
If you don't want to get help, don't post anything here. If you want to bark on us, don't do it as well. It's not our fault your friend is gone, so don't behave like we made her go.


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 02:44 PM

Just as a reminder to everyone posting to stay polite, regardless of what feelings you may have.


   
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 12th 2013, 07:02 PM

Hi, Frankie.

It's easy to get pissed off when you're feeling low and nobody's being helpful or they're doing the opposite of what you told them NOT to do. But remember, we're here to help one another! I agree, people should read thoroughly and think more when you bar ideas.

You say your person is away in Spain for a week and half. How about you write to her your emotions, whenever you feel like it. I'm not suggesting it as an alternative, because it's technically not. You will show her the letters in the end, when she gets back.

It's hard not to have a person to rely on, believe me. I know. When I feel low, I wish my friend (who's dead now) was still alive so I could talk to her. There's just that attachment nobody really understands, but I do.

I definitely suggest writing those letters. What you do when you get the urge to cut is up to you, but I hope you take my advice into consideration.
   
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 13th 2013, 02:37 AM

Hey there,

I think that writing to your friend, whether or not you share the letters with her, would be a great idea. This would be a great way for you to vent your feelings and it will be as though you are sharing your thoughts with her. I know it is not exactly the same but it is something that could be worth trying.

I think trying to work on expanding your support system would be a good idea as well. Maybe you could look into joining clubs or volunteering within your community. By doing this you will be opening yourself up to meeting people which can, eventually, lead to you making friends with someone who you will feel comfortable leaning on for support.

I think that looking in to the hotlines that Dez linked you to would be a great idea as well. That will give you a safe place to talk to someone about the things that are triggering you and you will have someone to talk through those triggers until you feel safe.

Do you have the options of going to counseling? I think that counseling is one of the most beneficial tools people have available to them. So, if you can try looking into that. A counselor will help you work through your triggers and help you find the proper coping skills for all of this.

I hope that this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck.


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 16th 2013, 02:31 AM

Thanks for the polite replies back. Dez I can't use the hotlines because I hate the phone and do not use it unless I really have too. I also cannot extend my support system because I basically have no friends. That is why I post on here. But thanks for the suggestions and sorry if it sounds like I'm just shooting them down that really isn't my intentions.

As for as the rude ones keep your opinions to yourself if your going to be rude about it. Because I apologized for being rude and you were just being rude for the hell of it.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
|PM/VM|


   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 16th 2013, 10:58 PM

Hi Frankie,

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe I can bring some different alternatives to the table that you haven't thought of or tried yet!

Do you have a pet? Studies show that playing with an animal or having them in your prescence can improve your mood.

Do you have any hobbies? Activities such as painting, running, singing, writing, stretching, or deep breathing can help you out and put you in a positive state of mind.

Do you have places to go? I always go to the mall when I'm upset. Sometimes I just window shop, and others I buy things, and it makes me feel so much better. You could go grab some coffe, or walk in a walking trail, see a movie, etc.

Whatever you choose to do, for the next ten days, try directing your focus on things that make you happy (don't insist you don't have any; everyone has something that makes them happy) and do that until your friend returns from Spain. Remember to keep an open mind. Stay strong, okay?

Hope I helped you.


I love you to the moon and back.

Darling you are the only exception. ~Paramore ♡
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm SCREWED - November 22nd 2013, 04:55 PM

I said sorry already but I'll say sorry again for being rude. But I was pissed people weren't paying attention to my posts and reading everything before they posted.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
|PM/VM|


   
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