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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy It's making it worse. - November 16th 2013, 05:13 PM

I've been going to see a guidance counselor for a while. She works at my school and she's nice, but the last time I emailed her she just brought me down to her office and just sat there and looked at me with a really annoyed expression. She talked for a bit, and then she just told me to roll up my sleeves and show her. She didn't even give me a choice. Then of course she got all mad when she saw my arms...
I just don't get it. Like she talks to me for a bit and then she pressures me to talk to this other woman who comes to the school sometimes. The last time I talked to her and she mentioned it, I gave in and said yes. Since then my urges have gotten worse. Every time I visit the counselor I end up cutting again. Instead of getting better, it's getting worse.
I can't take this anymore. I know I'm addicted, but I don't know how to break it. And honestly... I'm not sure I want to.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: It's making it worse. - November 16th 2013, 07:42 PM

Hey there,

Do you think that maybe you can speak with the guidance counselor and let her know what she is doing isn't helping you at all? Sometimes what a person does to try and help just doesn't click, but that doesn't mean nothing will ever help you. Maybe she has other things she can try to help you cope. Let her know that what she is doing currently (give examples such as forcing you to roll up your sleeves) isn't helping you and ask if there is anything else she can do.

Or, if there's someone else in the school you can talk to, try that. For instance, if there's another guidance counselor or a school psychologist, the school nurse, or even a teacher, you can go to them. If needed you can let them know you talked to your guidance counselor but you don't think the methods she's using work for you and are making it worse. I bet they'll be willing to help you break it! Remember that there will always be someone willing to talk to you and help you through this.

You may not want to stop self harming right now, but it still may help you to solve some of the problems that may be causing you to want to self harm. That way, at least you'll have less of a burden (and maybe it'll help you stop in the end.

Also try and find things to do to distract yourself when you get the urge. Maybe you can hang out with friends or family, watch a movie, or read a book for instance. Or, you can even do things like clean your room, which takes up time. Also remind you of any reasons why you may want to break the addiction, such as not having to hide anymore.

But, your voice deserves to be heard and there will be someone out there who will be able to help you, whether it's this guidance counselor or not. Don't give up.

-Dez


   
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Re: It's making it worse. - November 16th 2013, 07:49 PM

Hey Amanda,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having troubles with your counsellor but I assure you things WILL get better and you won't feel like this forever.

Firstly, your guidance counsellor doesn't seem like the most positive person to be around when you're in the situation that you're in and I do agree with you, she is making it worse. However, you haven't spoken to us about this other woman, what is she like? If she's better at understanding your problems, you should really ditch your current counsellor and try and find a new one, because otherwise this could damage your views on counselling completely, which believe me (personal experience) isn't good.

Understand this though, you DO NOT have to do what she's telling you to do, she doesn't need to see your cuts or your scars. She should be content in the fact that you're telling her, rather than hiding it from it, because showing people is incredibly difficult.

Have you spoken to any other teachers that know what is going on in your life and explained how this counsellor is treating you? Because I don't think that pressuring you is beneficial to you or to your mental health, as I said earlier, bad treatment can be mentally scarring and affects your overall views on help.

I hope you manage to figure something out, and as for the self harm, I suggest that you read this useful thread on the alternatives to self harm which can be found here.

I hope I've helped!
~Jack.








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"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.
   
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Re: It's making it worse. - November 16th 2013, 08:15 PM

Dez: I honestly don't care if I talk to her again or not. She was really annoyed the last time I talked to her. There is another guidance counsellor, and I did try talking to her, but she just called my bluff. "Do you really think your dad would kick you out? Would you really take off?" Um, YES, I friggin' would.
Jack: Heck yeah, it did damage my views on counselling. But whatever, I guess. One counsellor hates me now, and the other one just looked at me and said "I don't know." So I just gave in and told the first one I'd try talking to the "expert" who comes to my school every second Tuesday. But if this doesn't work, I give up.


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Re: It's making it worse. - November 22nd 2013, 02:20 AM

Hey Amanda,

Giving up may seem easier at this time following all the crappy counselors you have seen, but trust me, from my experience, it only makes things worse in the long. I have taken that route too many times and each time it gets worse. Maybe it would help talking to your friends or talking to all/some of the people that Dez suggested. I think there is always someone out their that will help and understand you. Good luck and keep trying!

Mal
   
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