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Bridesmaid with scars/cuts - November 19th 2013, 04:24 PM

My best friend is getting married in April. Her sister and I are going to be her bridesmaids. The dress we'll be wearing is sleeveless. I'm worried about scars/cuts. Only my boyfriend and my best friend know about my self harm. I don't want to ask her to change plans and add in something long sleeved over the top for me, its her wedding, plus I don't know how that would be explained to her sister without telling her. But I really don't want people to find out.

My arms aren't too bad, but I do have one or two raised red scars and a couple of less prominent but still noticeable ones. I haven't self harmed for over 2 weeks, and I think I'm doing well, but I don't know for sure I won't relapse before April, it is hard, so I'm worried about the possibility of fresher cuts too. With any luck I'll manage to avoid that, but even so there will it least be some obvious scars.

Any ideas or advice?

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Re: Bridesmaid with scars/cuts - November 19th 2013, 05:36 PM


I once had to be a bridesmaid and this was an issue for me. In the end though I ended up having to put a bandage on and say I'd sprained my wrist since I had a slip up a few days before. This could be an idea if you're really stuck and it's really close to the day.

Depending on how spread out the scars on you may be able to get away with finding a ribbon that matches the colour of your dress and tying that in a bow around your wrist.

However, if the day isn't until April then there's a good chance that the scars will fade enough to become unnoticeable and even if they still seem noticeable to you other people probably won't see them. You could try using creams to help them disappear in time.

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Re: Bridesmaid with scars/cuts - November 19th 2013, 08:20 PM

Maybe you can try something like vitamin E oil, cocoa butter, or bio oil to reduce the appearance of some of the scars. They may start to fade naturally too.

Two weeks is great! If you think you may slip up you can ask your friend if you can wear an accessory if you get it or show it to her first.

But try not to draw too much attention to any scars either. In other words, try and act natural rather than always glancing at the scars or seeming nervous. If you act naturally, maybe fewer people will notice.

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Re: Bridesmaid with scars/cuts - November 19th 2013, 10:39 PM

Would you be able to wear a cardigan with the dress ? And say you would like to wear a cardigan as you're worried it might be cold ?

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Re: Bridesmaid with scars/cuts - November 21st 2013, 04:56 AM

Thanks guys! I have a scar cream I'm trying at the moment, hopefully it will help! Otherwise I might try bio-oil. I don't think a bracelet/ribbon would work, as they are a little spread out and the worse ones are just above my elbow. :/

I'm not sure about a cardigan, I think it would take a lot from the dress my friend has chosen and I don't want to change anything that might make the day any less awesome for her. I'll have to talk to her about it though. I think I'm seeing her this weekend so if we have some time alone I'll talk to her and bring up these ideas. Thanks everyone.
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Re: Bridesmaid with scars/cuts - November 21st 2013, 10:33 AM

In my opinion, bio-oil is the best for making scars less visible, better than any particular scar cream anyways, if you can't use bracelets or a cardigan then I'm not too sure.

Hopefully everything works out for you and you and your friend have a great day!

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