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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question How do I talk about it? - November 21st 2013, 10:38 PM

I have a short history of SH from a while ago, but recently the urge has come back in full force. I've been trying the rubber-band therapy, but it just leaves me with welts that won't go away for a while, which still leaves me with the problem of hiding it, which is maybe counter-productive? I'm under a lot of stress now though, and it's my crutch, so I'm not sure what to do.
I've been thinking it might help if I confide in one of my friends. All of my friends have self-harmed, but they have so much worse home situations and I'm the privileged one in the lot, so I feel like I can't complain because I don't have the right. How do I bring it up? I'm really bad at expressing my emotions (probably why I have this issue in the first place) so I have no idea how to start. Does anyone have experience with this and how to talk about it? I'm kind of (okay, a lot) lost...
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Re: How do I talk about it? - November 21st 2013, 11:00 PM

Hey there,

First of all, I want to say that it's great that you are trying to stop self harming!

I want to say that since the rubber bands are leaving welts, it may not be a good therapy for you, since you shouldn't be replacing one form of self harm with something else that leaves marks. If you would like, you can check out one of these alternatives to self harm. They're healthier, safer ways to cope, and that way you won't have to risk leaving those welts behind! Some of them even give sensations other than pain.

But, talking to people such as your friends is a good idea! Remember that you DO have the right to vent to people about this. Your problems are real and significant to you, and therefore you have every right in the world to speak to someone about this. If you feel bad, you can let whoever you talk to know that you will let them talk to you if they ever need someone as well.

I know that one way that may make it easier to talk to your friends about this is through a letter, Facebook message, or email. That way, you'll be able to plan out what you are going to say before you say it, so you know that you are expressing everything. You can mention that you have been struggling for self harm for a while and the urge has come back recently, and that you really feel as if you need support for this. If you feel comfortable, you can also write why you self harm, or how long you've harmed yourself. But the main thing is to get out that you self harm and need support. Then, deliver the letter, Facebook message, or email.

I think that with telling them verbally you can still say some of the things I mentioned above, such as that you've been self harming and the urge came back. You can even make an outline of what you are going to say before you go in there so you don't go blind. Talk to them on a day when they're in a decent mood where nerves or interruptions getting in the way.

But, if you have a hard time maybe the letter will be better for you since you can plan things out and you will get things out without nerves and interruptions getting in the way.

You can do this!

-Dez


   
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