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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Diamond_ Offline
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Unhappy Self-Harming relapse...im such a failure - November 26th 2013, 11:41 AM

I sorta just want to vent so if no one wants to reply to this, its fine
I just feel like such a fuck-up. I was clean for almost a month but then I got really depressed yesterday and one cut was all it took for me to fall right into cutting. Actually, to be honest, I just cut about five minutes ago. My arm and both legs look terrible...but it made me feel less horrible for a little while, ya know? I just don't know what to do anymore. Constant comments about me being fat or ugly or bitchy are starting to get to me. I've tried to kill myself multiple times but it never works....I just don't want to be here anymore. It's so much easier to just bleed the pain away than to try to ignore it. I feel like I'm going to cut again.... God why am I such a freaking failure
   
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Re: Self-Harming relapse...im such a failure - November 26th 2013, 11:50 AM

Hi there,

As far as the comments about being fat and ugly? Who is saying that? I think it would be okay to report it, to get the people to stop. For example, you can talk to your parents, a teacher, a guidance counselor, or the school nurse, and they can talk to the people who are bullying you and make sure that they stop. You can document any evidence, just for added evidence.

The people who tell you that definitely aren't worth the time of day, though. They aren't your true friends, and therefore they shouldn't matter. I know, easier said than done, but screw them. They aren't important, the people who truly love you won't CARE what you look like. Bullies just pick on your insecurities to get a rise.

I think that talking to someone is also important, not only for the bullying, but for the self harm and suicidal thoughts as well. You can speak to some of the people I mentioned above, or even coaches and club advisers, religious leaders, doctors, or therapists. They can work with you to get you through this and to a better place.

This is a list of alternatives to self harm. These are healthier ways to cope so you don't have to worry about hiding injuries, preventing infections, or scars. These are healthier, safer ways to cope since self harm doesn't actually solve anything, the problems just come back and things get worse.

This is a link to a list of reasons to live. Sometimes you have to live for the small things and let those build up, because your big thing is coming. The bad won't last forever, so forget those who make you want to think otherwise.

Remember that if you are ever at risk of harming yourself seriously, speak to an adult or make your way to the local emergency department.

Also, one moth clean was good, you can make it longer next time.

-Dez


   
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Re: Self-Harming relapse...im such a failure - November 26th 2013, 11:54 AM

Hey Diamond,

Firstly, not self-harming for a whole month is a big achievement! Right now I can't even manage that, so well done!

You're not a fuck up at all, relapsing is a normal phase during the recovery process. Self-harm doesn't just 'stop'. It takes time, and several attempts for most people, we don't expect you to just quit, because it's not that easy realistically, believe me. I've been through that, and I still going through it, relapsing makes you feel amazing, yet disgusted with yourself at the same time, but it does happen, you're not a failure whatsoever.

Don't let people's comments get to you, I know it's hard not to, but listening to them won't help you get better. They're just idiots, they take out their insecurities on people that they see as being lesser than them, which is not true. You're so much better than them, they're weak, horrible people that make people feel terrible to make them feel happier about themselves, they're not worth your tears. You're incredible.

You can do this, show people that you're not just going to let them upset you. Feel free to VM/PM if you want to talk.

Be strong and stay safe,
~Jack.


PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.



"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.
   
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Re: Self-Harming relapse...im such a failure - November 26th 2013, 12:01 PM

Thanks Dez and Jack. You guys are really helpful. It helped a little, though I still feel like I'm going to cut again, but hopefully I won't.. so thanks
   
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