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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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bgreen17 Offline
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Question Need advice on how to stop. - December 4th 2013, 04:19 PM

Hey about a year ago my life really went down hill because of multiple reasons i became very depressed and thought there was no way out. i was under a lot of stress an pressure and had no one to talk to. because of this is started to cut myself thinking it would never get better. but now my life has gotten tremendously better i have a loving boyfriend and a great new group of friends. The only problem is i cant seem to stop cutting myself. i am so used to feeling the pain that whenever i feel stressed or sad thats what i go for. My boyfriend knows about my past and i know it hurts him when i cut. I dont know how to stop though. I am so used to that being my initial reaction when something bad happens. I have been 8 days clean but its getting hard to ignore it. Any advice on how to stop that does not involve me going to therapy or talking to my parents because that has never worked for me.
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Re: Need advice on how to stop. - December 4th 2013, 05:47 PM

Hello Bgreen,

It's great that you want to stop SH because you realise the damage it causes not only yourself but the people around you too. 8 days clean is a great achievement and keep it up, because it's definitely worth it.

Although we are a website dedicated to helping others, it would be wrong of me to not recommend talking to people or seeking help from specialists, so I will tell you that despite your past experience with therapy, it is the best thing you can do if you seriously want to get better.

Alternatively, there is a very useful link for people trying to stop self harming; the alternatives to self-harm thread can be found here.

Other methods include writing a journal about how you feel when you want to self harm, why you think you feel this way, how you made yourself feel better (whether you cut or not regardless). And you'll find that within a week or two, you'll have a pattern, this pattern will give you a rough overview on what things trigger you, and from that point you should be able to think of ways to not do those things.

I hope this has helped, and feel free to VM/PM me if you want to talk about anything further.

Be safe and stay strong,

PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.

"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.
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Re: Need advice on how to stop. - December 6th 2013, 03:52 PM

Hi there,

Good job on 8 days! Self harm is an addicting habit. Once we start, it's hard to stop. But it's not impossible.

I know that you don't want to talk to your parents. Maybe, when you get urges, you could talk to your boyfriend or a trusted friend. This way, you'll be able to get your feelings out and have someone to talk to.

The alternatives thread that Jack gave a link to is great to check out! Whenever you feel the need to self harm, pick an alternative from the page. Some might not work for you, but just keep trying different things until you find something that helps.

Do you know what triggers you? You can write down what happens when you get urges. Write how you feel, why, and what your doing. After a while, you should be able to pick out some things that make you want to self harm. After you know your triggers, you can try to avoid them more or be prepared when things like that happen.

Stay strong. I wish you all the best and I hope this helped.

Find your light in a new dawn.

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