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kitkat244 Offline
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Life stinks - December 5th 2013, 12:42 AM

I was cutting when i was younger. I had to go to the counselor because i got caught with all these cuts on my arm and legs so then when i was with the counselor she told my mom and things went down from there my mom took all my knifes and razors away from me but i found them and took them back and she keeps thinking its her fault that i cut when it has nothing to do with her the counselor makes me want to just die instead of forced to tell her everything so she can find help for me. The feeling of dying is worse i dont talk alot anymore to anyone i dont fake how i feel anymore and i hate it i hate how hard it is to know people know about what i do when i wanted them not to i rather die than have to go through what i am going through know. The ONLY friend i had she doesnt talk to me anymore after i had to got caught by my gym teacher and i dont know what to do i have no one who i can talk to and it just stinks
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Re: Life stinks - December 5th 2013, 01:02 AM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through right now!

I think that your mother took away things that you can use to self harm because she cares about you, rather than because she wants to make things worse for you in any way. I think that if she DIDN'T care, she wouldn't have done anything at all. It may help if you explain that it's not her fault that you self harm, though, and maybe tell her a bit about why it is that you are still getting triggered, such as the counselor forcing you to tell her things before you are ready. You can also print out pamphlets or other forms of information for your mother about what it means to self harm, so she has a better understanding. I think she does care about you and could be a good person to talk to if she can be made to understand better.

The gym teacher may be another person that can help you, or a different teacher that you trust. You can even speak to the school nurse about it. These people do care about you and are there for more than just academic-related support. I bet if they knew what was going on, they'd be willing to try and help you out to the best of their ability. The gym teacher was a mandatory reporter, meaning they had to tell someone that you are self harming, but now that it is already known, I bet someone can still help you.

Are there other guidance counselors at your school? If so, maybe you can see about speaking to one of those ones instead. They may be able to help you better without forcing you into saying things you don't want to. I think it would also help to speak to your current guidance counselor, letting her know that what she is doing is triggering you more. She may have other tactics.

If you have a physician you can also call them and set up an appointment to talk about all this.

I'm also sorry to hear that your friend stopped talking to you after the incident with your gym teacher. I think that maybe it would help for you to join clubs, social groups, and sports teams in school or around town so you meet people that you have a common interest with. That can be a conversation starter for you and a way to make new friends.

Remember that self harm really won't help you solve any of your problems. It actually makes them worse. You'll have to worry about infections, or if there ever IS someone you feel the need to hide it from even though you said you don't hide it anymore, you'll have to worry about that. Also, the problems are just going to end up coming back because you aren't actively trying to solve them. Instead, maybe use an alternative to self harm. These are healthier, safer ways to cope with what's going on. I find ones such as writing, art, or music to help me the most because they allow me to get out any pent up thoughts. Maybe those will be helpful to you. Exercise is another great way to release stress and pent up emotions.

Try and find things to do to take care of yourself too. Eat properly and try and get a good amount of rest, for starters, but other things as well. Take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, eat your favorite goodies, or do a hobby, for example. You deserve to take care of yourself.

Write down anything you or someone else likes about you as a reminder that you are wonderful. Write down any accomplishments you make, even something like getting out of bed in the morning, as a reminder that you can do this. Also write down or print out encouraging quotes or pictures for the same reason. Write down any time you laugh or smile, even a little bit, as a reminder there is always something to keep going for. Need even more reasons? Go here. These are reasons to live. Sometimes you have to live for the small things and let those build up, because your big thing is coming.

Keep your head held high, stay strong, and keep fighting. The fight is so worth it, and the bad definitely won't last forever. You have things to do and places to go, people to meet and goals to complete. Don't give that up now. You can do this!


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