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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Getting Help? - December 5th 2013, 02:28 AM

i'm new to this website and am in desperate need for advice. i recently started going to a new doctor (like a regular doctor with check ups and stuff) and she asked me about drugs/sex/self harm because i was a new patient. i told her about cutting myself and she wants me to tell my mom and start seeing a social worker/therapist. i'm due back in 3 weeks and i'm supposed to tell my parents within that time span. i really don't know how to tell my parents and feel bad because i think i made a big deal out of this because i haven't cut in a while (i get really depressed for periods of time and i feel normal now so i don't really know what to say). what do i do?
   
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Re: Getting Help? - December 5th 2013, 02:36 AM

Hi there,

First of all, welcome to TeenHelp! I hope you get all of the help you deserve!

I think that even though you haven't cut in a while, it is still important to tell them what's going on.

You can even explain it to your doctor and family like you did to us, that this isn't something that happens all the time, but you do go through periods of being really depressed then go back to feeling normal. I bet a professional, as well as your parents, can still try and help you through those rough times and it's still probably a good idea for them to know that they're going on at all. A professional can also help you track when it happens and see if there are any patterns.

One way to tell your parents is verbally, of course. If you have a friend who knows about your self harm you can take him or her with you when you tell your parents, but this is optional and you don't have to. You should probably consider telling them on a day when they are in at least a decent mood, in an area that doesn't have too many distractions. It can also help if you plan things out before you go in there so you know what's going to be said. Some key points I'd suggest covering are the fact that you get depressed for periods of time, and that you have used self harm to cope with these emotions but haven't felt the need to do it in a while. You can also print out pamphlets or other information on self harm so they have something to look at and get a better understanding of self harm, or suggest they ask your doctor for details.

Another option is to tell them in the form of something like a letter or email. This will allow you to get everything out without nerves or interruptions getting in the way. I again suggest you get out some of the points like I mentioned above. You can also try and describe in detail what it feels like when you get these depressed moods, or anticipate any questions they may have and try and answer them before they ask. Then, deliver the letter or email. They'll still want to talk to you but at least you'll have your main points out.

If you're creative you can express yourself through art or writing to them but you would have to be sure they'd understand your meaning. I'd think that verbally or a letter is the way to go.

If you really don't feel okay with telling them, you can ask your doctor to tell them for you, but it's probably best hearing most of it from you.

You can do this! It really is worth telling them, even if it's not a constant feeling, so you can learn better ways to cope when these feelings do arise.

If you want, tell us how it goes!

-Dez


   
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