cutting for attention

[einstein's dog]

hey guys,

so my friend has started cutting about two weeks ago but he says he's already addicted. Thing is, he only seems to do it when people will see it and i find that really annoying as a SHer myself! If you SH you're going to want to hide it from everyone as long as possible. It's not like he doesn't get attention at home or at school either, i would know as I'm extremely close to his family. He's started getting counselling too and his attitude is now constantly as if he can get away with anything.
he knows i cut but I'm almost viewing this as a form of mockery towards SHers! Urgh!

if someone can suggest any logic behind this please share it with me, as it's killing me watching this happen on a daily basis

thanks x

[Most Likely]

I lost any respect for people who SH long ago, because of the example you are talking about. I'd say he's craving for even more attention, my deskmate is similar to your friend, and I can understand how incredibly annoying it is. It indeed is easy to get addicted, like to everything. Well, what can I say... Sorry for you, mate.

When I was in high school my foster sister cut and we all think she did it for attention she wouldn't cover them up and she would leave the dried blood on them and I would as her to wash it over because i was recovering at the time and it was triggering and she just said to bad. So I can totally understand what you are feeling. I would honestly talk to him and see what he says and if he is doing it for attention there really is nothing you can do about it i don't think

[Ennui.]

Hi there,

I think that I agree with maybe talking to him about it and asking him some of the reasons behind why he may be self harming. You can let him know that you are really glad that he is getting counseling for everything now but you are a bit concerned with some of his actions and attitudes, and you just want to understand better.

Self harm IS really addictive, so if it is an addiction, hopefully the counseling will help him out some. But, if he is doing it for attention, I do hope that he realizes there are better, positive ways to be getting attention, rather than having to resort to self harm.

-Dez

[Nightblood.]

Everyone is different in the way they deal with self harm. Not everyone feels the need to be really secretive and this doesn't necessarily mean someone is looking for attention. Even if someone IS looking for attention, that's a sign that they do need help. It is still just as serious an issue as someone who covers up. While he may be getting attention at home or school, it may not be the attention he needs. He may not even know he wants/needs attention. I would still try to be supportive. Talk to him about it, if he wants to and you're comfortable enough to ask.

[Fighting-to-Win]

I self harm also, and definitely NOT for attention (nobody knows except for 2 of my best friends, not even my parents, and nobody has ever seen my cuts or scars EVER). But even so, I'm upset by those of you saying that you've "lost respect for SHers" and things like that. If someone self harms, it's for a reason. If they feel neglected or even just crave the attention, hurting themselves is an extreme way of showing that, and the need for attention/affection should not have a social stigma, even if you find it annoying. So what if the person feels like they need more attention? Help them out because they have something bothering them that's no less important than the rest of us self harming for any other reason.

[Oxytocin]

Self-harmers can all SH for different reasons. The idea of cutting for attention makes sense to me because I used to do it. I was struggling and I guess I didn't know how to communicate this to other people and thought that if I just told them they wouldn't take it seriously enough and would think I was just exaggerating. I thought that if I added a physical element of my emotional pain and somebody 'caught' me, then they would believe my pain was actually serious. I can understand why it might seem that people who cut for attention are mocking the SHers that don't, but sometimes the person can actually really be struggling and just not know another way to tell someone else that they do need help.