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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy Back to Square 1? - December 12th 2013, 02:13 AM

I've been self-harm free for about two weeks now. If you don't count picking, that is. But there's been nothing new and now my best friend is upset with me for trying to help her and my other friend is apologizing for her behavior even though he doesn't even know her. ~Growls~
Everything is driving me crazy and I'm slipping back into depression and my PTSD is threatening to kick in, which is the last thing I need right now. I was to cut...and I have means to do so. I almost don't care how far I've come without it. It's just a couple of cuts...I can go back to not doing it tomorrow... that's what I'm telling myself, at least...
Sorry, I just don't want to tell anyone around me about this cause I don't want to worry them, as I know they will be extremely worried and start hovering, which would piss me off to the point of snapping right now. So I ranted on here.


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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Re: Back to Square 1? - December 12th 2013, 02:44 AM

Hi there,

First of all, the two weeks you have gone so far has been an incredible accomplishment and something you should be really proud of, whether you are struggling or not. Any amount of time you go without self harm, even if it is just a minute when you are struggling, is something to be proud of.

Maybe you can give your friend a little bit of space for a while to allow things to cool down, and then approach her about the situation. I don't know all of the background about what happened, but you can explain to your friend that you weren't trying to upset her but that you do genuinely care about her and think that she deserves the support. And your other friend was probably apologizing because he knows how much you care and how much you tried. Maybe your friend didn't even mean to get so upset, but all the stress she is under could be causing her to act that way.

I know you may not want to worry anyone and it's understandable that their hovering would be triggering to a person. Maybe you can talk to them, but then let them know what will and won't help you? For example, you can tell them how hovering would make you feel, but also let them know some things they can do that WILL help you.

Or, you can consider calling one of these hotlines and I bet they would be willing to work through some of the things that are going on with you. At the time I posted this, Live Help was online, so you can call them and have them help you work things through, too.

Self harm really won't help you cope with anything, though. In the end, it makes your problems worse. The problems come back because you aren't actually solving them, and you now have the problem of hiding any new injury from those you don't want to know, and preventing infection. Instead, try and find a healthier, safer way to cope. This is a list of alternatives to self harm that you can consider trying. If one doesn't work, try another, because there is bound to be one that does. It's not worth it to make even a couple of cuts because a couple can turn into many, or it could turn into you continuing to do it for more than just one day.

Try and find ways to express your emotions and get out pent up thoughts, feelings, energy, and stress, such as writing, art, music, or exercise. These are healthy ways to get out what is inside of you. Also try and take care of yourself to the best of your ability and have a little bit of "me time" that nobody else can interrupt and that you spend worrying about only yourself. Maybe you can take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, eat your favorite goodies, paint your nails, use a lotion, or do a hobby you enjoy. In other words, take care of yourself.

You have come so far, don't give that up now. You can beat the urge.

-Dez


   
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