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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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dont want to stop - December 18th 2013, 03:08 PM

relapsed after making it 80 days clean a week ago now i cant stop and i dont want to i know its bad but i just cant find any reason to stop
   
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Re: dont want to stop - December 19th 2013, 01:31 AM

You don't deserve to have to go through something like self harm. It becomes an addiction more than anything else, because it doesn't really solve your problems. They come back because you aren't solving them. You don't deserve that. You deserve to be able to say you beat the addiction and conquered your demons.

I don't know if you are the type of person who hides the self harm or not, but it will also feel so much better to not have to hide. You will be able to wear the clothes you want and you'll begin to have confidence in that, too, and the scars will fade. You won't have to worry about people finding out if they don't know or slipping up and saying the wrong thing.

The 80 days was an amazing accomplishment and you should be so proud of getting that far. It shows that you have so much strength and courage, and that you do have the power to beat the self harm. You can beat this. I'm sure you felt great making it 80 days, because even though it was hard you did well. Imagine the feeling if you stop.

Self harm isn't a good way to cope because you will have to worry about hiding as I mentioned above. You also have to worry about preventing infections, or the self harm getting worse. Instead, maybe use an alternative to self harm, because these are healthier, safer ways to cope. Maybe find ways to express yourself, or distract yourself.

There are also people who love you and care about you. It may really help to work on solving the problems that you have, whether alone or with support, but let me tell you, it's so much better to work on it with support. Your loved ones as well as other trusted adults can be people to vent to as well as people who give some good advice.

I can assure you that the bad won't last forever. This will get better, even if you don't see it now. Something will come around that will make it all worth it.

-Dez


   
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Re: dont want to stop - December 19th 2013, 01:52 AM

Hey there Lydia,

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Dez is right; no one deserves to go through self harm. Nobody should have to experience that much pain and feel so alone, worthless, or unloved.

You are loved. You may not think you are, but I can guarantee you that someone cares about you. I do. Dez does. Your friends do, and so do teachers, parents, siblings, and other trusted adults. They love you and don't want to see you hurting. Talking to someone might be a great step in the right direction. I don't know if you've told anyone before, but after your relapse, it would be helpful to gather a support system. People who would check up on you and help you through these rough times.

80 days is absolutely amazing!! I'm so proud of you! Don't think that because you relapsed it erases your 80 days of being clean. That is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel proud that you made it that far!

As for helping you cope, the alternatives thread would definitely be something to check out. There are some great ideas on the list to keep not only your hands occupied but your thoughts as well. I started self harming a few days ago, and some of the methods from the alternatives thread have been really efficient!

I personally recommend journaling. I keep a journal with me at all times, so whenever I do give in and cut myself, I can write down how I was feeling, what triggered me, why I did it, etc. Later, you can flip back through it and look for patterns or certain things that make you upset and trigger you. I try to journal daily; no one else has to read it except you. You can let your thoughts run wild on paper and not be judged for any of it.

Of course, not all of us are the journaling type. If you aren't, I'm sure you can find another hobby like painting or working out or something else that makes you feel better.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me! I hope I've helped you in some way. You can do this. I believe in you!


I love you to the moon and back.

Darling you are the only exception. ~Paramore ♡
   
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Re: dont want to stop - December 19th 2013, 02:15 AM

Hey Lydia,

I know how you feel. I've relapsed countless times, and I've struggled to find reasons to stop self-harming as well. The reasons that I have, though, might be able to help you.

For one, hiding scars can be uncomfortable and give you anxiety. Hiding scars in the workplace, where you might be required to wear certain clothing, is very difficult. If you stop self-harming, the scars will eventually fade, and you'll be able to wear what you want again. I know I really miss wearing short sleeves, especially in the summer.

Self-harm rarely hurts only you, it also hurts the people who care about you--and I assure you, there are people who care about and love you. Stopping will not only end some of your pain, but also the pain of those that love you. You do not deserve to hurt yourself. You deserve to love yourself.

If I want to self-harm, sometimes I ask myself if I would do that to a friend or family member. The answer is always no, I would never hurt someone like that. So why do I treat myself that way? Realize, again, that you deserve to love yourself, and that you can.

You made it 80 days, and that is a huge accomplishment. Rather than feel bad about having started self-harming again, realize that you can make it again--and even farther.

Like the others said, check out the alternatives to self harm. Oftentimes, if I want to self-harm, I go for a run or read a book. Take care of yourself, and love yourself, you deserve it.

I know that you can do this. You've made it so far. Everyone relapses, but that doesn't change the fact that you've made progress. Keep moving forward, and if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM/VM me.
   
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