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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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mskawrak98 Offline
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How do I explain this? - February 14th 2014, 07:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I started cutting myself a couple of weeks ago and now I've got quite a lot of scars on my arms. My school uniform means that it is quite easy to see them unless I take extra care. It's inevitable that someone will see them and ask me about them or tell a teacher about them so how am I meant to explain it to them without telling them everything that is going on because I don't want them to know and I know that it will just make everything worse if people find out.
   
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 14th 2014, 08:36 PM

This sounds like a hard situation. There's not really an easy solution. The best thing to do would be to stop cutting, but I know that's not as easy as it might sound. Are you able to wear a sweatshirt or jacket over your uniform? Thats probably the best way to hide your scars. If not, you can try makeup. I don't know too much about that, so look into it first. If none of those work, the best you can do is probably to just keep your arms folded as much as possible.
If anyone asks, tell them it's not their business, and that you'd like them not to share what they've seen. However, you should consider telling a friend or trusted adult.
Hope that helped


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Re: How do I explain this? - February 15th 2014, 01:06 AM

Hey there,

I agree with wearing a sweater or jacket if possible. As for cuts that have healed and left a scar, cocoa butter or bio-oil have been known to fade scars, but this isn't something that happens overnight.

If anyone asks, you can let them know that this is something personal, or you can try and find an excuse such as it was a pet incident or you encountered something sharp such as thorns. This may make students back off, but teachers may not be so quick to convince and since they are mandatory reporters, if they have reason to believe you're harming yourself, they will have to tell.

Of course, even if your excuses do work, if you continue to self harm, people will begin to catch on and realize what's truly going on. It is probably better if you stop self harming altogether to not worry about that. This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm, which are healthier, safer ways to cope.

I know you may not want anyone else knowing about your self harm, but remember that they can help you cope in better ways and solve some of what's going on in your life. It's worth getting support.

-Dez


   
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 15th 2014, 08:35 PM

Hey,
I understand what you are saying. I think like the others have said wear a sweater or you can use cover up on the scars, or to reduce the scars you can use cocco butter or maderma works if you use it consistently for a week or two.

I understand that you don't want anyone to know about your self-harm but it might be a good idea if someone was to know. However if you really don't want them to know you can always tell them what you want them to know or you can always say I don't want to talk about it and move on to a different topic.

I know that self-harm is a way to cope and it makes you feel better but it is also unhealthy. There is a thread on here for alternatives that I suggest you check out and try some of those when you feel like cutting. If you ever need to talk I'm always here you can pm or vm me anytime and I will get back to you as soon as I can.


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We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 23rd 2014, 09:19 AM

Thanks, I'm trying my best to wear long-sleeved shirts or sweaters now so luckily no one has seen them yet. I don't know if this sounds a bit stupid but I kind of like my scars so I don't want to get rid of them anyway so I think I'll just have to carry on covering them.
   
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 23rd 2014, 03:35 PM

Hey, Mo!

I don't think it's too weird to end up "liking" your scars/cuts in an acute way. I've always felt the same way, and I think a lot of people also do. I believe it's part of the state of mind that someone is in when they self harm, somehow, that the idea of their skin being cut or scarred seems appealing.

I've been in your situation, and I spent the best part of two and a half years keeping my self harm issues a secret. In the end, my mother found out and, though it was awful at first, I was soon glad, for it enabled me to get help and feel a bit better. So, don't give up on that! I'd recommend looking at the list of alternatives, which Dez linked.

Feel free to PM/VM me anytime. I hope things get better soon!

Gareth
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 23rd 2014, 04:56 PM

I honestly don't think it's weird to like your scars considering I like mine and am not ashamed of them.


We may shine, we may shatter,
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We are fragile, we are human,
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We break fast, cause we are glass.
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|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 23rd 2014, 06:34 PM

The fact that you like your scars isn't something weird at all! Not everyone is ashamed of them or wants to get rid of them. Some people begin to think of scars as a part of them, or just part of their story, rather than something bad or shameful. Everyone looks at their self harm and their self harm scars a different way, so I don't think it's bad to like them.


   
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 23rd 2014, 08:25 PM

I've read that a lot of people who self-harm like their scars. I don't really think it's weird, more like being able to see what you've been through. And that you've gotten through it. Kind of like battle scars in a way. Don't worry about it!

I realize you may not want to tell anyone and keep it secret since it is a private thing to you. But maybe you might find that telling someone would help. Even though it may be scary, you could get some help for the things that are bothering you. Remember that it's okay to need help.
   
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 26th 2014, 09:19 PM

I've already told one of my friends but he just made it worse and said that it's my problem so he didn't really care and it made me want to cut even more, and I can't really trust anyone else so I don't really know who I could talk to about it.
   
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Re: How do I explain this? - February 27th 2014, 05:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mskawrak98 View Post
Thanks, I'm trying my best to wear long-sleeved shirts or sweaters now so luckily no one has seen them yet. I don't know if this sounds a bit stupid but I kind of like my scars so I don't want to get rid of them anyway so I think I'll just have to carry on covering them.
I think its awsome that you like them, I embrace myne so much that im looking for ways to make them more noticeable.
I have been free for 6 weeks by the way, so I dont really neef to cover myne but if you want to keep them hidden try and find some foundation the same color as your skin and apply if to the scars, it works better if it is water proof.
And if that dosent work try virgin coconut oil,
It works wonders on helping scars fade. Plus you can also put some of the oil on your toast and it makes the best fricking toasy ever.

I really am only telling you this cause you dont seem ready to stop, but if you move where your harming at to your hip, in your pantie lining, it hides but if you go to the pool, dont wear a one piece cause then it will show.

But if you ever want to stop, a few things thay helped me was to take a shower as hot as I could stand it. Not only did it slightly hurt, but it is also good for realxing, also when you feel like you want to harm, try keeping a journal. It helps to distract you a little and you can put your feelings there.

You could also write it on a piece of paper and then burn it.

Well I hope that helps.
   
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