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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Glass Slipper Offline
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WHY? Voices! Not normal is it? - February 15th 2014, 09:32 PM

There are three different problems I have with self harm and instead of posting three threads I will just post all three here in different colors. Oh and please do not tell me about the alternative thread I have looked at it and it is way to long and it overwhelms me and just makes me want to hurt myself more.

WHY?
So when I get really frustrated and am around people and can't cut I bite myself. I have a lot of bruises on my right wrist from this. But there is one problem with this it really doesn't work and sometimes gets me more frustrated. If it doesn't work why the hell do I keep on doing it?


Voices
So I hear voices or really loud negative thoughts can't tell the difference and they tell me to do things that get me in a lot of trouble. The voices lately have been telling me to cut the word ugly into my skin. And if they get any worse I probably will but the problem is last time I listen to them I cut the word fat into my skin and I got in soooo much trouble. But the voices get so loud and overwhelming and the only way to shut them up is to do what they tell me.


Not normal is it?
So I am in the process of taking a shaving razor apart to use the blades. Anyways once I have that accomplished I have the urge to take the blade and cut as deep as deeper than I ever have before just for the hell of it. Now I know this is probably not normal but honestly I don't care I just feel like doing it. I don't really see the problem in doing this I would just be testing the boundaries. So yeah I don't know.


We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Spoons Offline
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Re: WHY? Voices! Not normal is it? - February 15th 2014, 10:55 PM

I'll separate the questions using the headers.

Why?
I think that maybe it's almost an automatic reaction to the frustration. I know that sometimes when I get angry or frustrated and can't cut, I find myself scratching myself automatically, almost on impulse. Do you think it's something similar for you, almost acting on impulse? You're right that it doesn't always work and may make you more frustrated, but it could be your body naturally trying to cope with what's going on by self harm, even though you realize that it may not work later. I hope that made sense.

Voices
I know you may not want to, but I think you really need to seek help for the voices if you haven't already. I know you've made posts in the past about your therapist handing you off, but has anything more come of that, such as seeing a different therapist, or the other one agreeing to let you stay? If not, I really think you should consider seeing someone, because these voices aren't something you should have to cope with alone, and you should definitely try and find ways to help cope with them and get them to stop before they DO get any worse and drive you to self harm, or worse. You don't deserve that.

Not normal is it?
I can't say that it's not normal per say, because I think a lot of people do get the urge to cut deeper sometimes, whether it's to test the boundaries or because they think it'll be more helpful. I've had that urge as well, but haven't been able to. It could be a sign though that your self harm is worsening though, if you are constantly getting this urge, and it may be very risky. I know you said not to link to the alternatives list and I will respect that, but I do think that you should find something to do in the place of self harm, even if it's just being with someone on the phone. Even if you're not telling them what's wrong, it's harder to self harm around people. Or, you can take a walk, for example. I know you've tried things in the past, but sometimes it's a bit of trial and error to see what'll work for you. But, it's really not worth it to cut deeper and may make things worse in the end.


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Glass Slipper Offline
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Re: WHY? Voices! Not normal is it? - February 16th 2014, 11:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabithia. View Post
I'll separate the questions using the headers.

Why?
I think that maybe it's almost an automatic reaction to the frustration. I know that sometimes when I get angry or frustrated and can't cut, I find myself scratching myself automatically, almost on impulse. Do you think it's something similar for you, almost acting on impulse? You're right that it doesn't always work and may make you more frustrated, but it could be your body naturally trying to cope with what's going on by self harm, even though you realize that it may not work later. I hope that made sense.
I don't think it's on impulse because I am aware that I am doing it at least I think so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabithia. View Post
Voices
I know you may not want to, but I think you really need to seek help for the voices if you haven't already. I know you've made posts in the past about your therapist handing you off, but has anything more come of that, such as seeing a different therapist, or the other one agreeing to let you stay? If not, I really think you should consider seeing someone, because these voices aren't something you should have to cope with alone, and you should definitely try and find ways to help cope with them and get them to stop before they DO get any worse and drive you to self harm, or worse. You don't deserve that.
I'm on pills for the voices but like I said I don't know if they are voices or just thoughts. I have a new therapist but she doesn't know shit and is a joke so I am NOT going back to her so no I do not have a therapist at all now. My grandma keeps saying we will go to this other place and see about counciling but we never do. I asked about residental treatment but she just totally ignored me and told me it probably won't help because I might not like the therapist and wont listen which is bs because I want the help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabithia. View Post
Not normal is it?
I can't say that it's not normal per say, because I think a lot of people do get the urge to cut deeper sometimes, whether it's to test the boundaries or because they think it'll be more helpful. I've had that urge as well, but haven't been able to. It could be a sign though that your self harm is worsening though, if you are constantly getting this urge, and it may be very risky. I know you said not to link to the alternatives list and I will respect that, but I do think that you should find something to do in the place of self harm, even if it's just being with someone on the phone. Even if you're not telling them what's wrong, it's harder to self harm around people. Or, you can take a walk, for example. I know you've tried things in the past, but sometimes it's a bit of trial and error to see what'll work for you. But, it's really not worth it to cut deeper and may make things worse in the end.
I talk to my friend but sometimes she doesn't know what to say and I don't tell her everything. I listen to music and go for walks and sometimes that works sometimes it doesn't.


We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Spoons Offline
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Re: WHY? Voices! Not normal is it? - February 16th 2014, 11:59 PM

Since you are an adult, is there any way you'd be able to get into residential treatment on your own? There may be a way for you to give them a call and see if you are able to get in.


   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Glass Slipper Offline
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Outside, huh?
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Re: WHY? Voices! Not normal is it? - February 17th 2014, 10:12 PM

I do not use the phone... And we don't have the money so I need my grandma's help to see if they do it on a sliding scale or what not. Because I have found two treatment centers on Dr.Phils website. But yesterday we argued and then she said she will help me look into it and see if we can get into it this summer.


We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
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