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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Bvb army Offline
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Question Crush might have saw my cuts - March 15th 2014, 01:43 PM

Yesterday in math I was fixing my bracelets because they were showing my cuts and when I look up I it looked like my guy friend/crush was staring at my wrist. I don't know if he saw anything but if he did I'm afraid he's gonna tell someone or confront me about on Monday. I don't know what to say or do if he does.
   
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Re: Crush might have saw my cuts - March 15th 2014, 04:35 PM

Well, you've got a good chance he will follow the bystander effect and ignore it if he saw it. If he does, however, you should just explain you are trying to stop. If anything, it will make him think less critically of your scars. That, and he will probably not tell others if you tell him you are already seeking help for this.

Just a tip, but you should really consider telling someone if you haven't already.
   
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Re: Crush might have saw my cuts - March 15th 2014, 05:10 PM

I agree that he may follow the bystander effect and just ignore it, since not everyone knows how to react with self harm, or they may not know how big of a deal it actually is. That may make you a bit safe.

If he confronts you himself, you don't technically have to tell him anything that you don't want to. You can let him know that you appreciate his concern, but this is something that's personal. Or, like the above poster said, you can say you're trying to stop. If you WANT to be honest with him and say you've been struggling with cutting, you can, but again, you don't have to. It's your business, and nobody else has to know if you don't want them to.

If he tells someone such as a teacher or guidance counselor, they may be harder to convince, though, since they have to make sure you are safe, but you can always try and make some form of an excuse about it like "cat scratches," but they may see right through it anyway, and you still deserve the support, so you should consider telling someone.

-Dez


   
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Re: Crush might have saw my cuts - March 16th 2014, 01:08 AM

I someone confront me on my scars before, it was totally unexpected and out of nowhere. It was in my gym locker room (she saw my scars at practice) but she ask me if I really did fall into a bush (all my teammates believe the fell in a bush) it was kind of awkward. But I said I'm trying to stop and stuff. All she did was recommend me to get help. But I didn't and then she notice them worse... And she told my guidance counselor at school...

It really depends if he knows self harm scars or seen them on a person. If not, it's a lot easier to say cat scratches or fell in a bush.. But if he does just don't act shocked or anything (biggest mistake what I did, I was on like a panic attack) just try to stay calm. My friend confronted me (different one) and I stayed calm and she didn't freak or anything. So that's my best advice, if you panic it gets worse,

   
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