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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
oceaneyes95 Offline
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I just need help. - March 28th 2014, 05:41 AM

Sometimes I just feel like I know that I need help, but when I reach out there's no response. I'm Nineteen years old now. I've shared a lot of my struggles with this website. I've been a victim of self harm, bullying, abuse & neglect. I've struggled with my sexuality. I've had self esteem issues. I went to a strict Baptist Church from the age of Fourteen to Eighteen. But, I still found myself facing struggles that I felt needed to be kept a secret. A lot of other teenage girls fell envy to me. They thought I was pretty & popular. The guys that they liked were attracted to me. I was very looked up to & respected. But, there's a lot that they NEVER knew about me. I lost a parent at the age of Seventeen, and then by Eighteen I was working in a strip club. I worked in two different clubs. Then, I met somebody who is now only somebody that I used to know. Our relationship is more complicated than eating peas with chopsticks. Now, i'm Fourteen weeks pregnant. I'm unemployed, still don't have my GED because I never graduated Home Schooling. I really don't have family, or even friends anymore. Within the past year & a half my life has fallen apart. I no longer have a "Church Family/Church Home". I no longer have that "perfect image". I no longer have a "support system". All I have now is my unborn child that I can't provide for, and my addiction to self harm. I haven't self harmed in a while. When I was working in the clubs I couldn't because others would see it. So, I was self destructive in other ways. Pills & alcohol. I wasn't eating, and I wasn't sleeping. I always tried to get help. But, I was no longer good enough for anyone who used to love me. Sometimes I still feel that way. I feel empty. I feel broken. Nobody can see it, or maybe they can but they just don't care, or don't want to help me. I've recently reached out to a more accepting church near me. I've told them my scenario, and how they can help me. They're really great people. I've made a lot of new friends. But, I still catch myself wanting the same old things. I want to go back to being a dancer. I want to self harm. I just don't know if anyone will care.
   
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Re: I just need help. - March 29th 2014, 08:13 PM

Hey there,

It's great that you were able to tell the church that is near you what is going on and that they have been accepting to you! I'm sure they can help you if you open up. Even though you've only recently opened up to them, I think you should start getting to know them and get support from them. Not only get support, but maybe also get to know at least some of them on personal levels like you have. You've said you've made friends with some of them so maybe you can start hanging out with them outside of church too?

Is there any chance of being able to join a support group for some of these things, such as the pregnancy? It may help to have people who can identify with what you are going through who you can turn to when you need some help.

Being under the assumption that you will be seeking assistance for a doctor for the pregnancy? If so, I think that it would be important to tell him or her what you are going through with the rest of your life, such as the fact that you still want to self harm and that you want to go back to being a dancer. They may be able to help you cope and support you through all of the things that are going on in your life in better ways so you don't have to worry about self harming, or they can at least refer you to someone who can!

Sometimes it's hard for people to notice some of the signs. If you're honest with them, I bet they WILL care though!

As far as supporting the child, for the meantime while you are looking for a job/to finish your GED (I'm sure there are options to) there ARE some state programs you can try and look into. I know you may not want it, but you can use them until you get back on your feet some.

This is a list of alternatives to self harm. They're healthier, safer ways to cope, so if you ever get the urge, it's probably best to use one of these instead. It's so awesome that you haven't self harmed in so long, and that shows that you have a lot of strength and courage! It shows that you can beat these urges. If one alternative doesn't work, try another, because one will work!

Try and take care of yourself to the best of your ability. I know it can be hard sometimes, but try and eat properly, because you need three square meals in order to stay healthy and take on the day. Besides that, though, try and do nice things for yourself. Take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, paint your nails, do your hair, or do a hobby, for example.

I'm sorry that this wasn't very helpful but I wanted to say that you can get through this, you really can.

-Dez


   
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Re: I just need help. - March 29th 2014, 08:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_butterfly View Post
Sometimes I just feel like I know that I need help, but when I reach out there's no response. I'm Nineteen years old now. I've shared a lot of my struggles with this website. I've been a victim of self harm, bullying, abuse & neglect. I've struggled with my sexuality. I've had self esteem issues. I went to a strict Baptist Church from the age of Fourteen to Eighteen. But, I still found myself facing struggles that I felt needed to be kept a secret. A lot of other teenage girls fell envy to me. They thought I was pretty & popular. The guys that they liked were attracted to me. I was very looked up to & respected. But, there's a lot that they NEVER knew about me. I lost a parent at the age of Seventeen, and then by Eighteen I was working in a strip club. I worked in two different clubs. Then, I met somebody who is now only somebody that I used to know. Our relationship is more complicated than eating peas with chopsticks. Now, i'm Fourteen weeks pregnant. I'm unemployed, still don't have my GED because I never graduated Home Schooling. I really don't have family, or even friends anymore. Within the past year & a half my life has fallen apart. I no longer have a "Church Family/Church Home". I no longer have that "perfect image". I no longer have a "support system". All I have now is my unborn child that I can't provide for, and my addiction to self harm. I haven't self harmed in a while. When I was working in the clubs I couldn't because others would see it. So, I was self destructive in other ways. Pills & alcohol. I wasn't eating, and I wasn't sleeping. I always tried to get help. But, I was no longer good enough for anyone who used to love me. Sometimes I still feel that way. I feel empty. I feel broken. Nobody can see it, or maybe they can but they just don't care, or don't want to help me. I've recently reached out to a more accepting church near me. I've told them my scenario, and how they can help me. They're really great people. I've made a lot of new friends. But, I still catch myself wanting the same old things. I want to go back to being a dancer. I want to self harm. I just don't know if anyone will care.
Hey, it seems like you're going through a lot, which's quite overwhelming to even just read, let alone live. Things aren't working outwell for you so far, but the best you can do is look for a way to provide for yourself and your child, long term. By providing I mean housing, yes, but you also need someone you trust deeply and can talk to. To talk to people who care, and you can make it<3 I'm glad you're edging away from selfharm, just remember that progress takes time.


Sometimes giving up isn't enough.
   
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