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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Exclamation Trapped. - April 6th 2014, 11:00 PM

Recently my school nurse found out I cut reulting in just about my whole high school knowing, because I'm in a small school.. My parents know now & two of my teachers & the nurse have sort of deemed their selves my own little support group. They're always asking how I'm doing & all that stereotypical stuff... They tell me I need to tell them when I do cut... I haven't cause I font want to lie to them. But it's been so hard the urge is huge because of the amount of stress I'm under. I want to just break & go back to it. It was my way of coping & feeling better. I'm over whelmed by emotion & cutting makes me feel numb. I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be getting help, but have you ever been in a state where you've been a way for so long you can't see yourself any other way & you're afraid to change? That's how I am right now...
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Re: Trapped. - April 6th 2014, 11:28 PM

Hey there,

I know that it is scary for you to want to change, but think of all of the benefits that will come with getting help. Self harm isn't really a good way to cope because it leaves you with the worry that people will find out, the risk of infection, and well, the problems and the stress come back because you aren't really doing anything to solve it.

Maybe you can tell your teacher and school nurse what will and won't help you. For example, if constantly asking how you are doing makes you feel less comfortable with talking to you, or if anything else they do makes you less comfortable, tell them. I do think they legitimately care, though, and want you to know that you can came to them with anything. If anything WILL help you, tell them.

I think you should at least tell them about the huge amount of stress you have been under lately. You can also tell them you have urges because well, urges isn't an actual relapse, and it's great you haven't relapsed! They can probably give you ways to cope with the stress better.

Give getting help at least a bit of a try, though. It will be worth it in the end!

This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. Perhaps something there will help you cope with some of the stress you are under or at least beat the urge? If one alternative doesn't help, though, try another, because there is bound to be one that will!

Maybe you can try and find ways to express what you are feeling. Writing, art, and music are all good ways to do this. Exercise is also a great way to release stress, and it's a different type of feeling.

Also, take some "me time" away from what is going on. Take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, paint your nails, do your hair, eat your favorite goodies, or do a hobby, for example. You deserve it!

I know you can get through this.

-Dez


   
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Re: Trapped. - April 7th 2014, 12:02 AM

to TH!

I agree with what Dez has said. Your teachers genuinely care about your well-being. Teachers are in the profession not only to teach, but to support their students as well! As mentioned, try letting them know what they can do to support you. You don't always have to express things verbally. A note or an email works as well!

Music or any form of art is a good outlet! Here's a thread with songs to listen to when you're down. Exercise (as long as you don't overdo it) can help boost your mood, too. Specifically walking and running as those help clear your mind.

Do you know what's stressing you out? Blogging or journaling can be great to identify your triggers! Here's the blog page on TH.


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Re: Trapped. - April 9th 2014, 02:54 AM

Hey.

First off, to answer your question: yes. I have felt like that. And you know what? I'm not in that place anymore. I can guarantee you that no matter how stuck you feel, there are always things you can do to make it better. Sometimes the issue isn't so much not knowing what to do - it's not being able to convince yourself to do what you think is right.

I know how uncomfortable it can be when people find out about things like this, things that you would much prefer to keep to yourself, but it could actually be a good thing. You said it yourself - they're your support group. Emphasis on the word support. They want to help, and one of the strongest things you can do right now would be to let them. They ask how you are because they want to help you feel better - they don't want you to lie to them. It's okay to be honest, even if you feel like doing so would be 'weak' - it wouldn't, I promise. Being honest is a courageous thing to do, so don't ever doubt that.

I can also relate to what you said about stress, but think about it this way: having to lie to your friends and hide your self harm might just be increasing your stress, rather than decreasing it. Sure, it decreases it during the act and maybe for a while afterwards, but it just creates more tricky situations in the end. So maybe by stopping self harm, you could actually be reducing your stress level.

Like Dez and Cassie above me said, try to find other ways to cope with your emotions - healthy ways. I could recommend a bunch of them, but I've found that the best way is often to find/think of them yourself. So it could help to identify your triggers, and think about how they make you feel. From there you can work out what kinds of (safe) activities could alleviate those feelings, so that you can be prepared for next time.

I hope this helped, and good luck with everything!
   
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