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Unhappy everythings going downhil.... - April 22nd 2014, 12:58 PM

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I don't know what to do anymore, I'm worthless and useless. Well I better start from the beginning my dad recently died well actually he took his own life I don't understand why he could d this to us as a family, he was always so happy, he meant the world to me, I mass him like crazy since then. Have had a relapse intoucutting again, before he died I spent six months self harm free...AFR he died I started again...he died at the beggining of this year I was devastated and still am, people ha told me of takes time...but yeah I'm feeling ad though its taking too long. But anyway I'm 16 I have been in counselling and my counsellor had told me to tell my mum about the fresh cuts so I did, she was mad and doesln't know why I do this to myself. How can I make her understand more and even better stop? I want to be happy again but nothings working, I'm feel like a disgrace to my family..I feel really bad though.... I have no friends that I can talk t about this either so what should I do ? How can I stop?m just a worthless puce of junk.
   
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Re: everythings going downhil.... - April 22nd 2014, 01:12 PM

Hi there.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've gone through all of this, that's a lot for you to handle. You're not worthless, there is no such thing as worthless. You've just been through a hard time in your life and I know that you will see happiness again someday. You might not ever know why your dad took his life. But do know that he loves you. It does take a lot of time to grieve especially when someone close to you takes their own life. Maybe you could do something in honor of the two of you! Like go through some pictures and scrapbook, for instance.

Initial reaction's from parents are usually along the lines of angry. Your mom probably just needs to think about this for a while. Keep in mind that she isn't angry at you, she's angry at the situation that her child is in. You could sit down and calmly talk to her. You can also write a note so you can be sure to include everything that you want to and then place it somewhere where you know she will find it. Also, printing off some information or getting a book from the library about this subject may help. Here's a page of articles about self-harm.

The best thing to do when you feel the need to self-harm is to keep distracted. Maybe you want to see something resembling self-harm; so you can paint with red paint or draw with red ink! If you want a sensation you can hold ice. You can express yourself with writing and music and there's a lot more! This page has some alternatives that you should take a look at. Reading the page itself is an alternative! With each urge that passes, you will become a little bit stronger for resisting it.

Also, here is a page of hotlines that you can take a look at too.


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