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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Treble Offline
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Why is the urge always there? - January 24th 2015, 04:03 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

The only time I don't want to self harm is when I'm actually self harming. All day, all I can think about is sneaking away and taking a blade to my thigh and slicing till there's blood everywhere... And when I am cutting, I cant stop, I have to cut over and over again until my legs are burning and I'm practically screaming in pain. Then I have a break and like 10 minutes later I want to do it all over again.

I know that I'm completely messed up and that I need help, and I am just starting to get help, but how can talking to someone magically make me normal? And I don't necessarily want to stop, because waiting until I'm in bed, to finally be able to give in and cover my legs in cuts, is the only thing that gets me through the day..

How am I going to be normal again?
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Re: Why is the urge always there? - January 24th 2015, 04:41 PM

Hi there,

I'm glad you're getting help! Talking to someone won't magically make you normal, unfortunately. A little more than that has to be put into recovery, a lot of which is work that you try when you're on your own. One thing that helps the most in recovery is wanting to recover and wanting that for yourself, not anyone else. You can work on things even without this desire, but it might be a little bit harder on you.

If waiting all day to self-harm is what gets you through the day, maybe you can think about what else might get you through the day. Perhaps you can consider changing your bedtime routine so you can't harm yourself, and you can use an alternative during that time. Maybe you can draw on your legs with different colored markers. It helps to have several options as alternatives, so you can try to find ones that work for you.

It sounds like your thoughts related to self-harm can be considered (or similar to) OCD thoughts and tendencies. Try to find out what makes you feel the need to hurt yourself. Does something bad happen during the day that makes you think of it, or is it just the only thing you can think about? If that's the case, try to occupy yourself with other thoughts. I know it's easier said than done but it can be useful. Keep a blog or a journal to release your feelings as well.

Utilize the people that want to support you through this. It's a lot easier when you have people who want to help you out, so don't be afraid to reach out to these people! That's what they're there for.

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Re: Why is the urge always there? - January 24th 2015, 07:21 PM

^Agreed. Even though talking won't make you 'normal' it may be able to take away some stress. Talk to a close friend who knows what you are going through, or find someone you can connect with on a personal level, and try taking it from there. I've been struggling with self harm since I was in 2nd grade. That's been 15 years ago, and it's still a daily struggle. Recovery is a long journey, and sometimes we struggle, but we only fall to learn to pick our self's back up. Stay strong, and feel free to IM or PM me anytime you need anything.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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