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Karol Offline
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Friend Takes Blame For Me - January 30th 2015, 02:01 AM

My best friend thinks me self-harming is her fault. It isn't at all, I did it before I knew her, but idk how to convince her otherwise I've gotten deeper lately and she's a cutter too, so she believes I'm doing it cause she has. I'm not, but...*sigh* *flops* I can't convince her it's not her.

Last edited by Spoons; January 30th 2015 at 02:46 AM. Reason: Removing triggering prefix. :)
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Spoons Offline
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Re: Friend Takes Blame For Me - January 30th 2015, 02:47 AM


Have you perhaps sat down with her and talked to her about some of the reasons why you DID start? Maybe it will clear things up a bit with her if you walk her through what made you actually want to start and why you though it would help, so that way she can stop blaming herself as much. You can also give her some of the reasons you self harm if you think that would help, and maybe the two of you can even become support systems for each other.

I'm sure you have probably tried talking to her in the past but maybe if you go into more detail and let her ask questions that may ease her mind a bit, it'll help?


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Re: Friend Takes Blame For Me - January 30th 2015, 02:50 AM

Well, she knows everything about my past and why I started. It was just coincidence that I started having severe depression when she and I met, but she's taking it as she caused it in some way.
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Re: Friend Takes Blame For Me - January 30th 2015, 04:53 AM

Hi Karol,

Have you told your friend that you believe it was just a coincidence? Perhaps you can talk to her and show her all of the ways that she has supported you so she doesn't feel like she's at fault. It also might be worth explaining that we can only control the behavior of ourselves and not those of others. Therefore, self-harm is a choice that is used as a coping mechanism and she didn't choose it for you, nor did you choose it for her. I hope that makes sense.

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Re: Friend Takes Blame For Me - January 30th 2015, 09:19 AM

Hey there,

What's the main reason behind her thinking she caused it? The time coincidence? I think that you could just try talking to her about it again, and clarify the reasons behind why you started and emphasize how the time coincidence is just that, a coincidence. But if you really cannot convince her otherwise, it's not your fault. Sometimes people refuse to believe in certain things, and there really isn't much you can do about it :/

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