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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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strayalicat Offline
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Name: Ali
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advice asap please:( - January 30th 2015, 12:19 PM

I've been cutting for three years now and I'm trying to stop but I can never make it. Sometimes I feel like there might be something that's actually wrong like maybe I have depression and I took some tests about clinical depression online and it all says I have moderate major depression.... I want to tell my mom so I can get help but I'm scared that if I say anything they'll go back to hating me and treating me like I'm some broken doll.... I really don't want my parents to hate me again but I think I need help.... And I don't want them to send me to therapy or take me to some broken expensive doctor because then they'll fight about money twice as much. Are there any free online therapists or anything?
   
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Re: advice asap please:( - January 30th 2015, 02:26 PM

This isn't advice but i did my first cut today.. And im freaking out. I just want you to know that you're not alone in your situation
   
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Re: advice asap please:( - January 30th 2015, 08:32 PM

Hey Ali (and Anna),

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not an easy thing to get through, but it's also not impossible. It's good that you're taking steps to find out whether or not you have depression, and that you want help. While the online tests can give you a general idea, they're not the best, and it would be good if you could see a doctor or other professional and get diagnosed.

Telling someone is definitely hard, and it's sometimes hard to guess how it will turn out. Your mom could take it really well and be supportive or she could completely misunderstand. If you think it would help, you could write her a note, email, or text. This would mean she couldn't interrupt you, and you wouldn't get distracted from what you were trying to say because of her reaction. Also, if you wrote an email, you could add links with information about what self harm is and how to help. If you feel like you don't want to tell your parents just yet, you can consider telling a friend you trust. They would (hopefully) understand, and even though they might not be able to help you too much, it would still be a chance for you to get it off your chest.

If you decide not to tell your parents, there are some other resources you could use -- there's the Helplink system on TH (http://www.teenhelp.org/helplink/) where you can send in an email and someone will get back to you with help and advice. There are also some hotlines you can call if you really need to speak to someone right away (http://www.teenhelp.org/hotlines/). There's also a sticky with a list of alternatives to self harm that you can try (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/). There's a lot on the list, so if one doesn't help, don't get discouraged. Try a bunch and see what, if anything, helps. (Sorry for the link attack there )

You can also try talking to a teacher or school guidance counselor. I know that where I live, teachers have to tell your parents if they find out you're self harming, but it may be different for you. School counseling is good if you're worried about money being an issue with your family, because they're free and you can just make an appointment during lunch or a study hall. Counselors are usually really kind and understanding, and they may not be able to help as much as some other professionals, but it's definitely an option I would recommend trying. Your counselor also might be able to give you advice on how to tell your parents, or she could tell them for you if you'd rather.

Remember that this can get better. There are people who will understand, and who will want you to be okay and try to help. And there's always Teenhelp people who can give you advice

Hope that helped, and feel free to send me a message if you want to talk.

Estelle



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Re: advice asap please:( - February 10th 2015, 10:02 PM

Hi,

I have self harmed on and off since i was 8, and i have the scars to show for it, its not your sympathy i want, im trying to show you its hard to stop. Even now i still have days where i want to SH but i think do i really want to go through the questions and fear of getting caught.


blah therapy and lifeline chat are two great resources that have worked to help me check those out, hope it helps

stay strong i believe in you
   
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Re: advice asap please:( - February 12th 2015, 10:42 AM

Hi there,

It sounds like you're in a difficult situation at the moment but it is great that you want to get help and you're willing to take those steps.
Self Harm can fall into a category of addiction and therefore can be very difficult to stop, like another addiction, this however, does not mean it is impossible. It is very much possible with the right mindset, willingness and support.
The road to recovery is bound to have a few bump and slip ups but it's how you deal with it that counts, don't beat yourself up over it, just learn from it and keep moving forward.

In order to be diagnosed and treated for depression, of course you would have to see a doctor. I'm from the UK and therefore don't really know how the US healthcare system works, but is there any way you can go and see your GP on your own?
It's always difficult to tell people close to us about self harm, when people first find out, understandably more often than not, they are shocked and very concerned. This concern, including in my experience of telling my family, can come across as anger, disappointment, denial etc. Over time this should lessen and they will hopefully become more supportive. If you don't feel that you can sit down and talk to them, perhaps as suggested above, try writing a letter or email. That way you can express your thoughts and feelings without any interruption and plan better what you're going to say and they way in which you say it.

In the mean time as said above, I would suggest taking a look at HelpLink, LiveHelp and the forums. Also the hotlines can be very useful if you need to talk immediately.
The alternatives list is also very useful but you need to bear in mind that it's trial and error, not everything works for everyone, but over time you will discover what works for you.

If you ever want/need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me.
Stay strong and take care

Charli


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RIP Peter <3
   
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