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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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soul_punk Offline
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Friends self-harming is triggering me - February 24th 2015, 06:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This has been going on for so long now and it's just getting worse and worse and i'm at a point where i just don't know what to do.

All my friends have admitted to me about self harming over the last year and a half or so. I'm glad that they feel they can tell me these sort of things and i should really be grateful knowing that they trust me enough with this sort of stuff, but the problem is that i'm really uncomfortable talking about self harm - the simple mention of it makes me feel sick to my stomach and gets my anxiety going and i can't get the thought out of my head until I've gone and sliced up my skin.

I can't bring myself to tell them this though, they think that i stopped self harming about 2 years ago and that talking about the subject wont bother me since they think I've been clean for ages, and i don't want to make them feel bad or guilty about it either. So i just sit and listen and say nothing even though i feel like i can hardly breathe and have an uncontrollable urge to cut myself open.

One of my friends had recently self harmed on their arm and rolled up their sleeves so that their marks were clearly visible and i felt like i was going to be sick - not because i was disgusted, i just felt so anxious and scared for some reason? I don't even know why it made me so scared, it just did.
I also saw a bunch of cuts on another one of my friends arms about 2 weeks ago and the image is just burned into my brain - i've tried to ignore it but whenever i see this person all i can think about is those cuts on their arm.
The subject of self harm is often brought up at random points in conversation as well and talking about it is also really triggering.

I'm at a point where i just want to be alone now and not have any friends. I know that it's awful and i feel so god damn guilty about it, but having to deal with this stuff on a weekly bases is stressing me out so bad, it's been making my self harming worse and i'm at breaking point. I'm going to end up cracking in front of them if this goes on.

I don't know what to do.
   
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Re: Friends self-harming is triggering me - February 24th 2015, 06:25 PM

Hey there. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time coping right now. I just want you to know that you aren't alone, and that we are here for you.

You shouldn't feel guilty about feeling this way. We all have things that trigger us. I think that your best option would be to tell your friends the honest truth. Tell them that hearing about all of this, seeing this, and talking about this is very uncomfortable for you. It's okay to admit that something is bothering you, especially if it's effecting you this much. You don't want to force yourself to be in a situation where you feel uncomfortable and unsafe. If these things are making you want to SH then having a calm talk your friends should help. I don't believe they would get angry at you for not being ready to deal with these sorts of things yet.

Also, have you tried other alternatives to SH? I know when things get hard or when we get triggered it's our first instinct to resort back to the vices that we have, but maybe trying to find better ways to cope with your SH will also show your friends that SH is an obstacle we can all move past. I know the road can be hard, and long, but I know you can get there. Here's a link to some other alternatives of SH for you to check out. Hopefully you, and your friends will find it handy while traveling this road to recovery together.

If you ever need anything, or just someone to talk to, feel free to PM/VM me anytime.


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Re: Friends self-harming is triggering me - February 24th 2015, 07:02 PM

I agree with what was said above. Don't feel bad about being triggered by this. A lot of my friends struggle with self-harm too. One time, an old friend sent me an unexpected picture of it and I found it triggering. It's understandable to be upset by this because it relates so closely to what you're going through. Like it was already said, I think you should be honest and tell your friends that you would like to limit how much self-harm is spoken about. You can also ask them not to show you their own injuries as well. You don't have to tell them that you're still struggling with it if you don't want to because what you disclose to people is completely up to you. But, you do need to do what's best for you and that would be telling your friends that you find discussion about self-harm to be uncomfortable.

Definitely check out the alternatives thread that was previously given to you and consider reaching out for help when you feel ready.


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Re: Friends self-harming is triggering me - February 25th 2015, 12:33 AM

Hey there,

Honesty is the best policy. I know in this situation it is going to be hard but it makes sense that seeing and hearing mention of self harm would trigger your urges. I know it probably feels good to have your friends come to you but you need to do what is best for your own mental health. Let them know that this is triggering to you and while you want to support them you can't talk about this subject so openly. Encourage them to seek out counseling for their self harm. Let them know that you would be willing to support them if they chose to go to counseling as well.

Just because you cannot support them by listening to them talk about their self harm does not mean you can't be there to support them in other ways.

I hope that this helped and if you need anything feel free to message me.


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