TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Started cutting again :( - February 26th 2015, 01:17 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have started cutting again, this time I am cutting my legs so I can get away with wearing short sleeves but still wear long ones because of the scars. I feel so ashamed of myself, I feel like I have let myself down. I keep trying to tell myself that relapse is normal in any type of addiction but it's not sinking in. I am scared that someone might see them even though I always wear jeans. I feel so stupid right now
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,865
Blog Entries: 1770
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - February 26th 2015, 03:12 AM

Hey there,

You aren't stupid and relapse does happen. Being hard on yourself will not help you overcome this. Do you know what has caused this relapse? Is it something you can work on resolving and work on getting to a better place? If you are uncertain of what caused the relapse I suggest you work on figuring that out. Working on identifying the trigger is an important part of recovery. I know sometimes that can be hard to do but I believe in your ability to do it.

Do you think that you could talk to someone about your relapse? I know that therapy has helped me in my own road to recovery so maybe something like that will help you. If not therapy maybe opening up to someone in your family or a trusted friend. I know it might be hard and there will probably be a part of you that will feel ashamed but I assure you it can help and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Have you ever looked at the Alternatives to Self Harm? If not I suggest you take a look at those and try some of the things listed. I know sometimes it can seem as though the alternatives don't work but if you stick it out and keep trying you might find that they do work.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - February 26th 2015, 06:14 PM

The trigger is my family and the way they treat me, well my mum's side of the family. They are nothing but thieves and backstabbers and I can't trust any of them. And they say things about me behind my back saying I'm lazy and such because my own mum lies to them. Sick of the lot of them and when you try to talk to them they just don't listen or tell me to grow up and stop attention seeking. Its got so bad I have had to make excuses to stop going over my Aunty's every 2 weeks to stay just so I don't need to go.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
Purr Purr Purr.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Palmolive's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 25
Gender: Girly.
Location: The stars.

Posts: 5,791
Blog Entries: 2318
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 1st 2015, 09:30 PM

Hi there,

I am sorry about the situation with your mum and her family. Have you ever tried to sit down with her and talk about it and how it makes you feel or even maybe you could write her a letter and leave it somewhere for her to read. I know this might be hard but it might help. If you really don't feel it will then that's okay too. It was just an idea that I had.

You are right that. Relapses are normal and this is an addiction. You've done well to be self harm free and don't let this blip step you back. You are worth so much more than all of this and deserve so much better. You don't deserve the pain you're putting yourself through, you know? You are better than self harm and it's going to be hard to overcome it but you can do it. It is possible to recover from self harm so keep holding on and have hope and faith and you'll get there.

Also don't be alone. Talk to people. Talk to us, family, friends, teachers, GPs, counsellors, anyone around you whom you can trust because talking about things can settle us down a little. Instead of it all building up inside, we let it out and it can be really helpful. Or you can try writing it down etc too.

I hope this helps you a little, stay strong
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

Helplink Mentor l Article writer l Forum mod l Community Mod
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 2nd 2015, 06:46 PM

I have already tried talking to them and even wrote them a letter but they just don't seem to care. I really give up with them, I do all sorts for them and I get it all thrown back in my face. My mother makes me do things that I don't want to do. And she is lazy and talks behind my back. I can't win with any of them.

There isn't really anyone I can trust to talk to at the moment, people just tend to back stab me or just ignore me so maybe it's just best to keep it all in for now, till I find someone I can actually confide in.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Karol's Avatar
 
Name: Karol S.
Gender: Female

Posts: 60
Join Date: January 2nd 2015

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 4th 2015, 04:46 AM

Hey Michaela, I'm really sorry that your family treats you like that and that you can't seem to resolve it. As sad as it is, sometimes it can't be resolved. You can't change their hearts, they have to.

Please know that not everyone will backstab you. I know it's hard to trust people, especially when you've been hurt so many times in the past, but trusting is a part of human nature. We're created to have bonds with others and to trust them. Keep your eyes open and see if there is anyone in your close friends, friends, or acquaintance circle that you feel cares about you enough to help you and not hurt you.

Relapsing is indeed a part of the addiction process. But when you relapse, it doesn't mean that all your hard work of not cutting just goes away! I went almost 7 weeks without cutting one time, and when I relapsed, I felt guilty and bad. I felt like I'd lost all my momentum. But it wasn't true. I still had those near 7 weeks that I hadn't cut, and it made me stronger for that period of time.

Try taking it week by week. That's what helped me. Also, having an accountability partner is a great idea as well. You can always find one here on TeenHelp, or even ask a friend. If you don't feel comfortable confiding in a friend, just ask them to "poke" you each week to see how you're doing. You don't need to tell them if you feel uncomfortable about it.

Stay strong. <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 4th 2015, 06:47 PM

Thanks for taking the time to reply
I have tried to talking to them again but I still can't get through to them, they are just telling me to grow up yet they are the ones who go on like children. I can never seem to get through to them. All they ever seem to do is have a go. I am trying my hardest not to crack, I keep myself occupied by going on my PlayStation every night but even then I still get urges.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Karol's Avatar
 
Name: Karol S.
Gender: Female

Posts: 60
Join Date: January 2nd 2015

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 5th 2015, 04:15 AM

Even when you occupy yourself, the urges will still be there. :/ They won't just be like "Oh, Michaela is playing PlayStation so we can't bother her". :P They won't go away easily. But the more you ignore them, the easier it gets.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 5th 2015, 07:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karol View Post
Even when you occupy yourself, the urges will still be there. :/ They won't just be like "Oh, Michaela is playing PlayStation so we can't bother her". :P They won't go away easily. But the more you ignore them, the easier it gets.
Yeah I also try to watch tv series to keep my mind off things. Watching Hannibal at the moment. I try to make an effort with my family and my Aunty ignored me for nearly four days. I feel so alone right now.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Karol's Avatar
 
Name: Karol S.
Gender: Female

Posts: 60
Join Date: January 2nd 2015

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 5th 2015, 10:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggedy Man, Goodnight! View Post
Yeah I also try to watch tv series to keep my mind off things. Watching Hannibal at the moment. I try to make an effort with my family and my Aunty ignored me for nearly four days. I feel so alone right now.
Oh, that's a good idea!! If you ever run out of tv show ideas, I have like a million that I watch. And you're right, they do keep your mind off of it for the most part.
I'm very proud of you for making the effort to be with your family. That's a very difficult, but brave thing to do when they're pushing you away. I'm so sorry that your Aunt is ignoring you, I know how that feels. My Uncle did that to me for a long time and it really hurt. But remember, you're never alone! You have us here at TeenHelp and, while we may not be with you in person, we're always willing to talk on here.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 6th 2015, 01:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karol View Post
Oh, that's a good idea!! If you ever run out of tv show ideas, I have like a million that I watch. And you're right, they do keep your mind off of it for the most part.
I'm very proud of you for making the effort to be with your family. That's a very difficult, but brave thing to do when they're pushing you away. I'm so sorry that your Aunt is ignoring you, I know how that feels. My Uncle did that to me for a long time and it really hurt. But remember, you're never alone! You have us here at TeenHelp and, while we may not be with you in person, we're always willing to talk on here.
Maybe one day my family will change toward me but I'm not getting my hopes up. Doctor Who is a big help with this, until it makes me cry haha. It means a lot that you are all willing to help me and if you guys ever need to talk about anything then I am willing to listen to I am trying my hardest the urge. Went on my PlayStation again tonight
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Karol's Avatar
 
Name: Karol S.
Gender: Female

Posts: 60
Join Date: January 2nd 2015

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 6th 2015, 04:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggedy Man, Goodnight! View Post
Maybe one day my family will change toward me but I'm not getting my hopes up. Doctor Who is a big help with this, until it makes me cry haha. It means a lot that you are all willing to help me and if you guys ever need to talk about anything then I am willing to listen to I am trying my hardest the urge. Went on my PlayStation again tonight
Doctor Who is amazing! I'm glad it's helped you. That's great that you keep fighting the urge! I know you can keep doing it, even thought it might get harder and harder. You have more control over your body when you fight, than when you give in. Keep staying strong, Michaela!! I know you can!!
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 6th 2015, 10:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karol View Post
Doctor Who is amazing! I'm glad it's helped you. That's great that you keep fighting the urge! I know you can keep doing it, even thought it might get harder and harder. You have more control over your body when you fight, than when you give in. Keep staying strong, Michaela!! I know you can!!

it's hard when my mother is getting on at me every day about things, such as my weight and the way I look. Getting sick of her comments and such but my dad puts her on her place about things, they don't get on very well either because of the way she treats me, she has never wanted me and it really gets to me sometimes.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Karol's Avatar
 
Name: Karol S.
Gender: Female

Posts: 60
Join Date: January 2nd 2015

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 6th 2015, 11:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggedy Man, Goodnight! View Post
it's hard when my mother is getting on at me every day about things, such as my weight and the way I look. Getting sick of her comments and such but my dad puts her on her place about things, they don't get on very well either because of the way she treats me, she has never wanted me and it really gets to me sometimes.
Awww . I am so sorry. It's hard when that happens; I have a similar situation with my dad. Often times, he triggers me more than anyone. But keep staying strong!! I know you can do it! Don't let her goad you into cutting, no matter how harsh or how often she makes you feel guilty or bad. You are not either of those things. Don't believe that you are. You are not defined by your weight or the way you look. You are beautiful, no matter your size. It's the inside the counts. The little bit I've talked with you, I know you're a sweet young woman.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 7th 2015, 01:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karol View Post
Awww . I am so sorry. It's hard when that happens; I have a similar situation with my dad. Often times, he triggers me more than anyone. But keep staying strong!! I know you can do it! Don't let her goad you into cutting, no matter how harsh or how often she makes you feel guilty or bad. You are not either of those things. Don't believe that you are. You are not defined by your weight or the way you look. You are beautiful, no matter your size. It's the inside the counts. The little bit I've talked with you, I know you're a sweet young woman.
Aww thanks, means a lot to me that you think I'm sweet I'm still getting the urges pretty bad but I am staying strong. My leg is a mess with scars now but I never wear shorts or anything.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
Karol Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Karol's Avatar
 
Name: Karol S.
Gender: Female

Posts: 60
Join Date: January 2nd 2015

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 8th 2015, 05:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggedy Man, Goodnight! View Post
Aww thanks, means a lot to me that you think I'm sweet I'm still getting the urges pretty bad but I am staying strong. My leg is a mess with scars now but I never wear shorts or anything.
Well, you are.
Aww, I know how that is. If you want, you can PM or VM me and I can give you some ideas on how to try and get rid of/lighten your scars. I have scars on my arms that are almost gone now! It actually helps get rid of my urges if I can get rid of the scars. It might help you as well!!
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: Started cutting again :( - March 8th 2015, 03:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karol View Post
Well, you are.
Aww, I know how that is. If you want, you can PM or VM me and I can give you some ideas on how to try and get rid of/lighten your scars. I have scars on my arms that are almost gone now! It actually helps get rid of my urges if I can get rid of the scars. It might help you as well!!
Thanks for being so supportive I am over at my Aunty's for the weekend and she tries to see what I am on so thats why I haven't been on.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
cutting, started

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.