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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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cookiesamilk Offline
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Triggered... Often. - March 15th 2015, 06:26 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, it's been a while since I've self harmed, and I'm proud of myself and all! It's just... sometimes I wish my thoughts were actually bad enough so that I could just do it and have something to justify it. I really just want to do it. I miss it. I miss how it feels and how it looks and it's just UGH! But if I do it, I have to tell my therapist and she'll make me tell my mom and then my mom will be really disappointed and sad. And I could just not tell my therapist, but I really like the therapist I have now and I don't want to ruin things by starting to lie to her. The urge is just so large, though! I just want to do it, but I know I can't, and it's driving me crazy!!! Ugh.


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Re: Triggered... Often. - March 15th 2015, 06:58 AM


I can understand the need to justify it, but the urge doesn't always have to be justified; you don't always need a reason, you know? Sometimes you can just feel bad without a known cause and that's okay. What's important is that you're feeling bad enough to want to cause harm to yourself. I agree in that lying to your therapist does more harm than good, so maybe you can at least tell her that you've been thinking about it more. She'll hopefully be able to talk you through things and maybe provide some suggestions. You could talk to someone else you trust, like your mom, as well. Just so she's aware that you've been considering it. Maybe you can contact your therapist and ask her to keep you in mind for any openings or cancellations she might get.

I don't think you'll disappoint your mom if you end up giving in. I don't think she'll be upset with you, I think she'll be upset about the situation you're in because I'm sure she doesn't like to see you suffering like this. Don't let that prevent you from confiding in her, though!

You've gone self-harm free for a while now. Have you done anything to reward yourself? If not, consider doing something cool as a reward. You can also do something small week by week as motivation. I used to let myself purchase a song for every week that I didn't self-harm, and it gave me something to look forward to.

What alternatives do you usually use? Perhaps you need some new ones. Since you miss the way it looks and feels, maybe you can hold an ice cube, or take a cool shower. You can also draw on yourself or paint your nails red to give you a similar look. Do you do anything to release your feelings? Maybe you can blog or keep a journal to help you work through how you're feeling.

You're always more than welcome to talk to me if you ever need anything! I'm up a lot of the time so I'm always available. <3

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Re: Triggered... Often. - March 15th 2015, 03:36 PM

Hey there,

I've been in the same situation as you recently. I had been four months free of self harm and ended up relapsing because I had such a strong urge so I can definitely relate to how you feel.

Firstly, I don't think anyone would be angry or disappointed in you. They may be upset because they care about you which is completely normal and is something you shouldn't feel bad about it. But before it gets to that stage where you do self harm, I think it'd be a really good idea for you to talk to those people around you who do care (your mum and therapist) about how you are feeling at the moment and about the thoughts that you are having. I know it might be really hard but it's got to be easier than you self harming, then telling them about it. And I am sure that they would would to help and support you through the current situation as much as they could and do whatever they can and put the best support in place for you, to help you get through this difficult time.

You are doing so well on being self harm free. What are the things that have kept you going? Focus on those things, keep reminding yourself of them and let that help you to continue to be self harm free. I know i's really hard but you're worth a hell of a lot more than self harm and don't deserve the pain you'd be putting yourself in. Self harm isn't worth it. It doesn't help, not really. So stay strong and keep fighting.

I hope this helps and hope things get better for you, keep your chin up and stick at it, I believe in you!


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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