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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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I don't want to stop... - March 16th 2015, 10:25 AM

and I don't know why...
I hadn't in about 5 weeks... but for the past few days I kept thinking about doing it, it's like I miss it... I see the scars fade and it's like I don't want them to, but at the same time I want them to because I'm scared people will see...
I don't know... is this normal?
   
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Re: I don't want to stop... - March 16th 2015, 12:26 PM

Hey there,
What you describe is not uncommon. Many people who do SH can relate to the ambivalence of wanting and not wanting to stop at the same time. But in order to stop you have to be motivated for it. I alsowant to mmention that 5 weeks is amazing so congratulations

Now theres many ways to address this problem, one being to take a look at the SH alternatives sticky thread. You can write a list about all the reasons you dont want to cut, to encourage you. You can alsofeel free to vent either here or another thread or using the blog feature, all of which may help you.
I do hope you keep going without SH as it is an unhealthy coping mechanism. When you say you still want to SH that makes sense because it can be addictive. Not only that but it has a function for you. So when you go SH free for so long you gotta replace SH and find a new coping mechanism because not coping at all can lead to relapse. Thats what happened to me, i stopped SHing and it felt like i was forcing myself to do a thousand pushups in a row. I was dragging and suffering. Im also looking for a better way to cope, which is different to each person. We just gotta keep experimenting and trying it out. Think of it as a quest :3
Anyhow, good luck and hope this helped if just a little.
   
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Re: I don't want to stop... - March 16th 2015, 07:57 PM

Five weeks free is amazing, congratulations!

Like Gryff said, this is normal and a lot of people who struggle with self-harm can relate to you. I think it has something to do with the the endorphins that self-harm releases, because that's what makes self-harm so addictive. After you get used to releasing those endorphins, that becomes your body's go to behavior and while you do know that it is a negative coping mechanism, your body still wants the endorphins to be released. Self-harm is an addiction; it can be like a love-hate relationship.

This is the thread that Gryff was referring to. Perhaps you can do things that cause a similar visual or sensation that self-harm does? You can hold an ice cube or take a cool/cold shower. You can also draw on yourself in the area that you usually cut to see if that helps. Try to find things that either help to express your feelings, or help to slowly replace self-harm or both.

You can do it and I'm here if you need anything!


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