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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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so basically - April 6th 2015, 05:42 AM

Well I did type up a very long passage but deleted it. I'll get to the point because I feel like I post too much and too often. But basically someone I know knows I've been self harming and even though I'm free cutting for 16 days that's not super long time plus I skin pick multiple times a day and that person who knew since we worked at a daycare together 2 summers ago and keeps telling me she will tell my sister. My sister knows I skin pick but doesn't know I've cut before. I don't think it will help at all, if anything things will get worth. I am thinking very rationally about this and I highly doubt it will benefit me in any way. In addition I suspect my youngest sister cuts because we share an iPhone for apps and things and I saw a notepad note that said list of poetry topics and I thought it was mine but turns out it was hers and one topic was "how I started cutting"

I also found a yahoo question by her a few years ago. Also mentioning she cuts. However she often walks around with open breasts and not wearing any top at all. So she could be cutting on her upper legs. But I've also seen her legs and I'm confused because she does not have a single cut that is visible. I also suspect she is starves sometimes which I spoke to my dad about and we make sure she is eating. It is just that we aren't close. I feel intimidated by her and threatened and anxious around her and I'm worried about what will happen next, what will I be in trouble for next time.
She has been really rude to me and said things that broke me down. Then she would tell me I cry over nothing and walk away. My dad tried talking to her asked her to be sensitive to what triggers me she said "Susan is a crybaby, everything triggers her. How am I supposed to predict what will make her explode. I can't control her emotions for her."

I have offered my help and at one point she expressed going yo therapy so I offered to help her find one, but I'm obviously the bad one here so she isn't going to trust me. I basically have a very awful reputation. Everyone at home tells me I'm a monster.

I don't know what to do about these two situations. I feel like I should relapse because maybe monsters deserved to be punished.

Last edited by Not_here; April 6th 2015 at 05:43 AM. Reason: tried to shorten it, sorry it is still long. also said self barking instead of self harmimg by accident
   
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Re: so basically - April 6th 2015, 03:35 PM

Hi,

As far as the person you know threatening to tell your sister, perhaps you can speak with this person and let them know why you don't find that to be a good idea. You can mention some of the things you told us here like the fact that she is always rude to you and insults you, and that you two aren't as close. Maybe the person you know will understand that and may be a support system to you instead.

With your sister, maybe you can express your concerns to either her or your father, if you can figure out a way to do it without giving yourself up? You can mention some of the things you've seen and say that this points to signs of self harm, and ask what's going on. If you talk to your dad about it maybe you can just say you have heard about this before and want to make sure everything is all right.

You aren't a monster though, not at all. You are not a bad person. You don't deserve to be punished. You are kind, caring, and a fighter.


   
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Re: so basically - April 6th 2015, 06:21 PM

Hey,

I agree with Dez. Maybe you can tell this person that telling your sister will actually make it worse for you and it will make you want to self-harm even more. You can also tell her that you use alternatives to help you work through things, and that you're looking into seeing a professional for help. Perhaps she'll rethink her actions if you explain these things to her.

Since you aren't too close to your sister and confronting her could upset you, I suggest telling your father about this. Perhaps you can mention the things you've seen that lead you to believe she's cutting and see what your father wants to do. Therapy might be helpful if that's an option and I say this because she's mentioned therapy; so she has taken an interest in it.

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Re: so basically - April 6th 2015, 10:32 PM

Thank you both of you. Well I've been speaking to the girl who knows I self harm and she said she won't tell my sister. First she wanted to tell my whole family but now she wants to tell one sister who isn't the one I mentioned above but I think I gother to not tell aanyone. I told her I'm trying hard to not SH and I think she got the message. I did not tell her I'm having family problems because I fear she will want to know more and start messaging my sisters asking them why we are not on good terms.

As for my sister, back when I found the yahoo question I told my dad. I showed him the yahoo question and he didn't believe me it was her who wrote it but it showed her first and last name as the person who asked the question. We haven't spoke about that since then.

It is hard to talk about it because a) I don't know if it is true b) no one at home is open about their feelings. I've tried to in the past but I get labelled as too dramatic so I stopped. It is very difficult to get my point across. Should I try writing a letter?

   
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