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Post Hopeless - April 6th 2015, 10:50 PM

Hey everyone....Im kind of new here...I've used this site a couple of years ago and decided it was time to come back...
I was self harm free for a year or so..and before that I went a few years without cutting...I'm now 21 years old and it's all coming back as if I went back to my 13 14 year old self...and I don't know how to fix it...I've fallen into such a deep depression again I can't handle it...I have a 3 year old son and a wonderful boyfriend and I feel like Im not allowed to feel like this...I'm a mom I shouldn't feel like this with my son...but all i want to do is break down and die...I can't stop cutting...I don't know if anyone can relate with me..or if anyone will even respond....I just needed to write and not be judged...I have no one...I'm alone and can't tell anyone else about this....I feel hopeless helpless and worthless....
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Re: Hopeless - April 7th 2015, 04:16 AM

Do you know what it is that is triggering you to fall back into some of your old feelings and emotions? It may help if you think back to when all of this started to see if there are any patterns or events that may have triggered what you are going through. It may help if you keep a journal to document times when you feel triggered by writing down the date and time, where you were, what was happening, and how you were feeling. That way you can look back and see if there is anything that stands out as a reason why you may be feeling like this that you can try and solve or get advice on.

It is important to have a support system during times like this. If you are able, maybe you can see a therapist or doctor to seek help and see what they can tell you about treatment plans and options. They may be able to give you coping mechanisms. I'd also let people like friends, family, and your boyfriend in. I know you may not want to, but I don't think that you being a mother should stop you from getting support when you need it. Everyone needs help, support, and care sometimes, after all, and there is no shame in that.

Maybe you can look at the happy things. You son, your boyfriend, anything else that may be positive. Use those as motivators to keep going, but also make some goals you can accomplish and feel proud of when you do. It may help.

I know you can do this. <3

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Re: Hopeless - April 7th 2015, 01:43 PM

Welcome back!

Some people think that self-harm is something to be grown out of, and that only people in their teens struggle with it. There are a lot of adults who struggle with it, though, so you're not alone. Try not to feel as though you shouldn't feel this way because of your son and your boyfriend. You can't help how you feel and you're entitled to have feelings. It's okay to not be okay.

I agree with Dez in that keeping a journal is particularly helpful. Since you're on TeenHelp again, maybe you can try blogging. You can really benefit from expressing yourself somewhere. You're kind of indirectly talking to the people that read your blog posts, and a lot of people find comfort in that. I also agree with Dez about having a support system as you can't make it through this on your own. It may help to have a sheet of paper with a list of people and ways you can communicate with them. Like it was said above, setting goals and doing something to reward yourself can do a lot of good for your self-esteem.

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Re: Hopeless - April 8th 2015, 02:59 PM

i have a journal that ive kept over the years, i just cant figure out what triggered this....its horrible...i mean i have the every day stresses of a work mom..but thats never made me feel like this before....im so afriad to tell anyone this is how im feeling and what im doing...my boyfriend knows about it but he thinks i got over it and it was all in the past...i dont know what he would do if he found out that i started cutting again...its just so scary..im planning on making an appointment with a psychiatrist but i wasnt planning on telling anyone..im hoping this site will help me again..i have no friends anymore i have no one to talk to...and what is even worse is my parents are staying with us for a while and everyone thinks im completely fine...its so hard pretending that im okay..
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Re: Hopeless - April 10th 2015, 04:05 AM

Hey there,

I am honestly going to suggest that you talk to your boyfriend about what is going on. I know that you don't want to do that but you don't deserve to be going through this alone and your boyfriend can, hopefully, provide you with support and love while you are working on figuring out what triggered this episode and work on healing from it.

Opening up to people can be really hard especially if you don't know what their response will be but dealing with all of this alone is going to become more and more overwhelming. If you open up about it it could really help.

I think it is great that you are going to be seeing a psychiatrist. I would also suggest that you look into getting some therapy for this. I know that therapy has helped me off and on for quite some time and maybe it will help you.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to message me.

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