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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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First Time Self Harming Yesterday - April 27th 2015, 12:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hey I'm a 16 year old girl and hurt myself for the first time yesterday, my grandma said something nasty to me and ive been trying to be so good and get along with her lately, she said how she doesn't like me and wanted to crash the car into a tree to kill me( how she doesn't have to do a d* thing for me cuz shes not my mom, my mom is in jail in houston because of child neglect after i was diagnosed with lupus, im under the ward of foster care with my grandma for about a year now and its so hard) and I went into my room and was going to swallow all my pills but got a kitchen knife and cut my scalp instead, it didn't even hurt but i was so upset....she gets me so upset so easily. I'm scared if she speaks to me or makes some remark again i'll do it again. I hate her so much. I just want to hurt her so bad and then myself. I really don't want to feel that upset again but the power she has over me in a sentence is so overwhelming

Last edited by cynefin; April 27th 2015 at 08:32 PM. Reason: Adding prefix.
   
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Re: First Time Self Harming Yesterday - April 27th 2015, 01:44 PM

I'm very sorry to hear that you are in this situation and feeling so terribly. But I can tell you that harming yourself or anyone else is definitely not the answer. All it will do is worsen the situation and make things even more awful in your life.

You mentioned that you are in the care of your grandmother, but if things are bad, I would suggest speaking with someone (a legal official, another family member, etc.) about possibly staying elsewhere or being placed in another home.

I wish you the very best and hope you will not continue down the path of self-harming, as it is often an addictive and destructive route. Take good care.
   
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Re: First Time Self Harming Yesterday - April 28th 2015, 01:15 AM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now.

Your grandmother is unhealthy to be around, she's emotionally abusive. I agree in what's already been said about considering talking to someone to see if you can get placed elsewhere. Perhaps you can tell someone that your grandmother is abusive and she's making you feel like harming yourself. In the meantime, try to stay away from her whenever you can. Maybe you can do things at school so you're able to stay out of the house, or you can listen to loud music when she says things that are upsetting to you. You can also create a safe place by filling your bedroom with positive things, like quotes, pictures, or anything that makes you feel safe.

Instead of harming yourself, try to find a way to express how you're feeling. Perhaps you can blog, or keep a journal. You can also write a letter to your grandmother to express your feelings and then find a safe way to destroy it. Here is a list of alternatives for you to take a look at.


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