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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Sophrosyne Offline
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I'm sorry - May 17th 2015, 11:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok I promised I wouldn't do it again but I just had to. At least I felt I had to anyway. I didn't do it for the pain though, I did it because I have to have the word carved into my skin so I don't forget what I am and nothing more. Although the pain side hurts too. This is (hopefully) my last time. Sorry guys, I couldn't hold on longer than 2 days. I'm useless at everything honestly. Can't even stop doing one simple thing. Ugh see this is what happens when I tell people. I get annoyed at myself for telling people then I punish myself. Ugh I hate me. You're nothing but a big selfish heartless bitch.


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Re: I'm sorry - May 17th 2015, 04:43 PM

You're not selfish for using a coping skill. It's an unhealthy coping skill, but it's how you're coping. You go to this because you're used to using it and self-harming has allowed your healthy ways of coping to diminish. Two days is amazing, because every single second you go without harming yourself counts. Just remember that the progress you made when you went a day without self-harming is still there. Recovery is a process, not perfection.


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Re: I'm sorry - May 18th 2015, 03:50 AM

You don't owe anybody here an apology in regard to how you are coping. Relapsing is often a part of the recovery process and not something to be ashamed of. All you can do is focus on what got you through those couple of days of being self-harm free and hopefully be able to apply it moving forward. Take good care.
   
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Re: I'm sorry - May 18th 2015, 08:28 AM

You need to fight this negative voice. I suggest you make an automatic thought record.
On one side you write down what the negative voice tells you and on the other side you write a positive thought against it. At first it will feel very strange and useless but it works with most people. Also you need to start believing that you deserve to be better. Try to write down a thing you like about yourself every day. If you don't know anything ask someone else.
And remember relapse is normal.

And just for your information I too hurt myself when I don't have the motivation to fight instead of when I really hurt too much. It doesn't make you a bad person. It's just your negative voice telling you you didn't really need it.


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Re: I'm sorry - May 20th 2015, 07:04 PM

You don't need to say sorry to us. At the end of the day you've let yourself down - not us. It's you who has had to live with the consequences. I am sorry you felt you had to self harm though - know we're always here to help you through your rough moments and that you aren't ever alone. Recovery is a process and it takes time. You can't decide one day to give up and never do it again. It takes time and hard work, so expect blips but believe in yourself too. We believe in you. You can do this so keep working hard and you'll get there and remember, don't be alone. You aren't by yourself in this.

Stay safe and take good care of yourself,
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