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Desperoux Offline
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Name: Katherine
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Unhappy My mom found my cuts - June 7th 2015, 06:30 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok, so recently I've started cutting, started like a month or 2 ago. Well today I talking to my friend and my mom was next to me. She saw my cuts and demanded to see my arm. I said no, but she made me. Then she made me show her my other arm. Now keep in mind, im in a line to meet a youtuber. everyone is looking and im freaking out. My mom starts to freak out and ask questions, i just ignore her, im not sure if she forgot about them or what. im afraid i will have to go to the hospital, i was in the hospital last year for suicide attempt and instead of attempting suicide ive started cutting. I know that if my mom remembers what happened that she will tell my therapist, i really dont want to go back to the hospital, What do I do?!?!?!?!
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Re: My mom found my cuts - June 7th 2015, 06:37 AM

Hi! I know this must be a bit scary for you. I recommend taking a look at this list of alternatives and articles. They might help you. If she does tell your therapist about it, maybe you guys can arrange something so that you don't have to go to a hospital. I know that if every therapist sent everyone who self-harmed to a hospital, hospitals would be packed. I'm here if you need someone to talk to Also, welcome to the site!



"Remember your loved and you always will be. This melody will bring you right back home." - Linkin park, The messenger. Stay strong everyone!! You are always strong enough to get through whatever life throws your way, no matter how hard it may seem.
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Re: My mom found my cuts - June 7th 2015, 09:29 AM

Maybe its time to sit down with your mum and be honest about what's going on now she's seen your cuts on your arms. Scary thought I know! But maybe it will help break the ice and maybe it will help her support you more which would be really nice in reality. To have someone at home who knows what you are going through so they can be there for you if you need them. I know when my mum first found out I felt like everything was falling apart but in the end, she became supportive of it. And helped me through the tough times and I hope your mum will do the same for you. You could sit her down and talk to her or you could always write her a letter too

As for being admitted to hospital, I doubt that will happen unless your therapist thinks your life is at risk. So try not to worry about it too much, okay?

Hope things go okay

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Re: My mom found my cuts - June 7th 2015, 07:51 PM

thankyou very much
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Re: My mom found my cuts - June 8th 2015, 06:28 AM

Hey there, Katherine!

I'm sorry to hear about the way this happened, I imagine that must have felt mortifying! But I do believe that this could turn out to be a positive situation in the end since she knows now. When you have some time alone with your mom, I suggest sitting down with her and talking about this. Explaining how you've been feeling and why you've turned to self-harm could help her understand a lot better so that she can help you through this and be there for you. As Jessie mentioned, having someone at home who understands and having someone you can really talk to could make a world of difference.

As for being admitted to the hospital, your therapist shouldn't send you to the hospital unless she believes you, or someone else's life is in danger. Speaking of your therapist, do you have a hard time talking to her about your self-harm since you're afraid of her sending you to the hospital if she were to find out? I understand your fear but it's important to have mutual trust in your therapist so that you feel comfortable opening up and talking about things bothering you.

Hope things have gotten better for you since your suicide attempt last year. The fact that you're trying to find ways to cope is a really positive thing, I hope you continue to do that but self-harm is an unhealthy coping mechanism that can really begin to drown out your healthier ways of coping and it can also become addictive. I realize things must be really difficult for you especially for you to turn to self-harm to cope, it's perfectly okay for you to struggle as everyone does, you know? I just hope you end up discovering new ways to cope with your feelings. Do you think it would help to try slowly finding other ways to help you through your feelings instead of self-harm? I understand you can't simply quit all at once, which is why I thought it may be a good idea if you like, tried an alternative when you feel like self-harming to see if that helps your urges first.

Just thought I would offer a few tips for you, I hope they help, Katherine. Are there any certain things in particular that trigger you to feel like self-harming? Recognizing your triggers is helpful so that you can try to avoid triggers or find ways to handle it in ways that are healthier for you next time. Writing down your triggers in a journal may also be a good idea. Speaking of, journaling is also a very therapeutic outlet as you're able to express yourself. Perhaps you could get a private journal to write down your thoughts, feelings and things going on in your life?

Hobbies and distractions is a good way to fill spare time in your days and also provide you with a bit of fun. Maybe you could explore new hobbies you haven't done before and also retreat to hobbies you've missed? Such as arts, crafts, reading, gaming, outdoor activities (hiking, biking, gardening) etc. I also suggest taking a look at the alternatives list that Crystal linked you to, it has many ideas that may be quite helpful for you. Self-harm releases endorphins which is part of what makes it addictive, exercise also releases endorphins. Maybe you could do short exercises or go on a walk when you have urges to self-harm?

On the note of your past suicide attempt, I'm sorry to hear things got so bad that you attempted suicide. I know you're new here and you don't have to share anymore than you're comfortable with, but I just thought I'd put it out there that you're welcome to talk about things if it would help you. Along with that, you can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to, okay? I don't mind listening, even if it's just a rant!
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