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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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what's it all worth.. - June 15th 2015, 05:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I really just don't know anymore..

My husband and I have been together for awhile and in that time I have refrained from cutting bc I've had him constantly at my side to make everything alright but he's been on mandatory overtime at work. So he works everyday from 3 pm (he leaves at like 2:15) - 11pm (he gets home around 11:30) so he's like never here. So I have our one year old all day and all night. And he is a piece of heaven bc i miscarried before I had him so he means the world to me. But I'm constantly trying to take care of him and me and my hubby and I'm strung out and the only way I knew how to cope without hubby here all the time was cutting. And he knows that so he tries wen he can to take a day off and comfort me but I'm just so lost anymore.

Tonight I sat in front of 5 different sized knives trying to figure out what to do... that can't be healthy...

Hubby told me once before when I was pregnant that if I ever were to cut that he would never forgive me. He would leave and he would take my son with him. He would never let me see him. He basically have me an ultimatum and I actually.think it is making my need to cut worse knowing that I can't or they'll leave me...

I don't know what to do.. it's either cut or die in my head right now and I know I can't do either..

Please somebody help me...

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Re: what's it all worth.. - June 16th 2015, 07:39 AM


I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. It seems like you're going through a lot. In most cases, promises or threats don't help people struggling with self-harm. I think you should sit down with your husband and explain that what he's said makes you feel a lot worse. Perhaps the two of you can make another promise. Maybe you can promise him that you'll use your alternatives or talk to him if you feel like harming yourself.

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Re: what's it all worth.. - June 16th 2015, 07:41 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry it took you so long to get a reply. I hope that I am able to help you in some way.

I don't think anyone should ever give someone a ultimatum especially one like that. However, I can understand that when people have loved ones who are struggling with harming themselves they sometimes do things that aren't always easy to understand. I think your husband wants you to be safe so he gave you this ultimatum.

Do you have anyone besides your husband that you can talk to about this? Possibly a counselor or something like that. I know that counseling has helped me to deal with self harm urges in the past.

Have you ever looked at the Alternatives to Self Harm.If you haven't looked at the alternatives I suggest you try doing that. It might prove to be beneficial. I know there have been times when the alternatives didn't seem to work but I gave it time and was able to find some that worked for me.

If you feel like you are going to harm yourself it might be best to remove the items you can harm yourself with. Either move them to another room, hide them so they are hard to get to or throw them out.

I hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

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Re: what's it all worth.. - June 16th 2015, 07:33 PM

I agree with the poster above that it may be best to explain how you are feeling to your husband and try to make him understand the stress you are experiencing. Perhaps this is something the two of you can deal with together and he could help you seek out a therapist to speak with or another form of assistance. Best wishes.
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Re: what's it all worth.. - June 16th 2015, 09:00 PM

Hi there.

I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time right now. It must be really difficult for you looking after all three of you although it's really great that you came to us here for some help and support and I hope we can provide you with some!

Put the knives away if you still have them out. Don't let self harm be an option. If you're feeling low tell yourself, self harm simply is not an option, you have too much to lose through it and there a better things you can do to deal with what you are going through. You're doing so well and to let go of it all now would be such a shame. Here is a list of alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Take a look at them and try them. Keep trying ones that don't work and keep trying new ones too. Not everything is going to work but you will also find ones which will help you so it's worth trying them all. Also, as long as you're busy doing one of them, you aren't cutting. So in some way it's working, it's distracting your actions even if it's not your mind and sometimes its activation before motivation, you know?

What your husband said to you doesn't seem like it's been helpful. Sit him down and talk to him about that. Tell him the truth and be honest that you are struggling with urges to self harm but that you are going to do your best to beat the urges and see if he can help in any way. Tell him if you feel it doesn't help, that what he said isn't fair and not helpful for you and say you aim for you both to do distractions and alternatives instead of him threatening to walk away with your child because that isn't something you can work towards. You need positive things in your life to work towards.

I know this is really hard but you can do this and get through to the other side. Yes its going to be a tough fight but believe in yourself and you will go far. And we're here for you too, so if you struggle and need distractions we're here or if you need some support, we're here, okay? You've got this and you can get through it because you're already doing so well, don't give up.

Hold on to hope and stay fighting. Don't be afraid to talk to people.

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