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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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jamdoughnut Offline
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Take Me Home - July 3rd 2015, 03:27 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Three weeks. Three fucking weeks clean and it feels like nothing. It feels like two days since i last cut. And now the urges are back, and theyre hitting hard. My back and my arms hurt, physically hurt from the urge to cut, and i cant breath. I cant even cry anymore. I keep viaualizing it in my mind, me slowly dragging the razor down my arm..... im trying so hard not to but not doing it hurts more than actually cutting myself. I know im going to do it. I know im not strong enough to beat it. I dont know why i keep thinking that i am, every time i try to pick myself up and start over i always fall. It never fails. No matter what i do i cant find happiness. I cant take it anymore. I give up.

I dont want to live. I i dont. I want nothing more than to get to heaven, to go home to the father. I know that that's the one and only thing that can stop this. I would give up everything to spend one day with him. My god, please take me home.....
   
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Re: Take Me Home - July 3rd 2015, 04:45 AM

three weeks is incredibly my friend! dont convince urself that its not, ur doing great. you say that u always fall, but that means you always get up to try again and thats beautiful. thats what counts, that your not giving up. u can get through this, try to keep yourself distracted, take walks, do things that u enjoy. god still has you here for a reason, hes putting you through this challenge becuse he knows you can beat it. i know its hard but your doing great, hang in there my friend. itll all get better soon
   
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Re: Take Me Home - July 3rd 2015, 11:37 AM

I know it may seem hopeless now, i really know, but remember God wants you to keep going. Stay strong because there will always be a reward at the end. You can do this. There are so many people who will do so much to help you. Some would die for you. Some already have. You can keep going.

If you break, just remember, its not the end of the world. You can just pick yourself up again.

You can do this. Stay strong ❤


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and laughs without fear of the future.
   
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Ral. Offline
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Re: Take Me Home - July 3rd 2015, 04:13 PM

Hi Jamari,

Firstly I want to say that I'm so proud of you for lasting three weeks, and I know that you can make it through this. You're a strong, amazing girl and I'm proud of you for making it this far. Beating self-harm is INCREDIBLY hard and lasting as long as you have is even harder. I just want you to know that everyone on TeenHelp is here for you, and if you feel like you need some support, drop any of us a PM and we'll be sure to help you out as best we can.

I'm going to post a link here to the alternatives to self-harm, take a read through them and try some of them out if you ever feel like you're going to break. I also want to make sure that you understand that the urges coming back are normal, that's your mind trying to trick you into thinking you can't do it. I know that you can do this and I think you know that too, you're just going through a rough time right now, but times do get better, I promise you.

When I started harming myself, I too felt like breaking meant that everything that was ruined, but it's not. If you do break, it's not the end of the world, you get back up and you try again, recovery is a long process and everyone messes up, but that's okay. Think of it like learning to do something new, you try it and maybe you fail the first time? But after a while you start to notice you're improving, you still mess up, but there's progression and improvement and it takes you falling down to notice how much better you are than when you started. If you never made a mistake and you were perfect every single time, how would you know you had actually started improving? That's how I like to look at relapsing and even when I feel down, I just remind myself of that.

Just remember, you've been free for three whole weeks, nothing has been able to break you yet, so if you do find that you break. Set yourself another goal, maybe you'll last four weeks next time? Maybe you won't, but keep something positive in your head that you can strive for. Reward yourself for getting better, I know a friend of mine used to buy herself a new game every two weeks that she didn't self harm but it doesn't have to be something like that, reward yourself with anything that you want. Make sure it means something to you and I assure you that you will last longer every time you get back up.

I know this is hard, and I know that you feel like the fight may be lost right now, but you need to believe in yourself. If you need somebody to talk to, you don't need to be alone. Just message us, any of us. We'll all be here to help you dear, you're not alone.

Take care and stay strong,

Jack.


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"In case you didn't know, dead people don't bleed. If you can bleed, see it, feel it, then you know you're alive. It's irrefutable, undeniable proof. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.
   
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Re: Take Me Home - July 4th 2015, 02:48 PM

Three weeks clean is a great accomplishment. I'm sorry that you are struggling at the moment, but you are obviously strong and can overcome what you are dealing with. Please remember that everyone here is willing to listen and support you anytime. Take care.
   
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