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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: Essex

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Join Date: August 10th 2015

My mum found out - August 10th 2015, 12:20 AM

One of my teachers at school noticed my scars on my wrist and told my house manager. He then called my mum after forcing a confession out of me. He literally grabbed my wrists because I refused to admit to it. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I absolutely dreaded going home because I knew how my mum was going to react. When I eventually saw her, she just started screaming at me and we had an argument. Ever since then our relationship is so bad and she looks at me with such disappointment, that I feel worse then usually feel. I'm not blaming her I just wish that she didn't know because things would be good between us. I still can't stop but I just feel so empty all the time and hide in my room to escape everyone.
   
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Re: My mum found out - August 10th 2015, 02:06 AM

Hey there and welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm so sorry this happened. That must have been an awful experience for you. He had no right to do that to you whatsoever. He had no place to make you confess to your self-harm, nor should he have gotten physical by grabbing your wrists. You shouldn't have had to tell him unless you wanted to talk to him about it by choice. Honestly, I think you should tell the school principle about this teacher and what he did. Or tell another kinder teacher at your school.

About your mom, I'm also sorry that she screamed at you for this and looks at you with disappointment. I really wish the people around you would have treated you with more support upon finding out about your self-harm. While the experience of your teacher and your mom finding out have been bad experiences, I hope it doesn't discourage you from opening up about it all together. I'm so glad you reached out here to talk about it. Do you think it'd help to sit down with your mom and explain that the looks of disappointment from her really hurts you? Something else that might help a lot is printing out articles on self-harm and also explaining self-harm to her so she understands better. Not all, but most parents don't understand self-harm which causes their bad reactions rather than a more understanding and supportive reaction.

Do you have any hobbies and ways to express yourself? Being able to express yourself and having emotional outlets is important. You may find journaling to be a therapeutic outlet. You can simply write down your thoughts, feelings and experiences throughout your life. Different creative hobbies also allows the opportunity to express emotions, like art, music, creative writing and crafts for example. And I'm not sure if you've seen it yet but I wanted to link you here. It's a list of self-harm alternatives that you might find helpful and it includes a huge list of things you can do when you get the urge to self-harm or when you feel sad, angry, restless etc.

You don't have to if you aren't comfortable, but would you like to talk about why you began to self-harm in the first place? We'd be happy to listen if you want to open up about anything, okay? You can message me if you'd like someone to talk to. I hope things improve for you soon and I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong.
   
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