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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Jays Offline
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How do I explain what i am feeling when I do it? - August 31st 2015, 09:46 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am not clean. And my mom asked me what do I feel when I do it. And i told her i don't know how to explain it. And I legit don't know how to explain it. Its just too many emotions at once. and all of that. And she doesn't understand. And she takes away my phone and takes away my music and she wants me to stop hurting myself. And she said it was stupid that i don't know what I was feeling when I did it. I just can't talk when questions like that are asked. I just don't know how to explain it so she would understand. I am just too overwhelmed and stress, and fearful. I just can't explain to her, I can't get anything through her head of why i cut and burn my self. She asked if i liked how it looks and if i enjoyed doing and deep down I really do. It calms me down, it makes me feel better and i can control my emotions so i don't do something else stupid. I think that when I cut its preventing me from killing myself. But how do you tell your mother thats what is happening.

I wish she could see it from my eyes that, its something i need, something that keeps me from beating the crap out of another, or the wall, hanging myself. She just doesn't understand it keeps me sane.
   
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Re: How do I explain what i am feeling when I do it? - August 31st 2015, 11:37 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry your mom isn't helpful. She should be more understanding and she probably should have looked into self harm when she found out about you. She probably just doesn't completely understand what it is and how it works. I completely get that you can't explain it or why you do it.

Since you can't explain how you feel when you self harm, try to explain why you think it helps (about it helping you control your emotions), but make sure that she knows you understand that it's not a good coping mechanism. It's hard to explain your emotions, but she might be able to understand the results.

There's a few resources on the internet that you could show her, too. There's this page has lots of good information on what self harm is. The link should take you straight to a section about helping friends and family. This source has more information for parents, but looks like it could be pretty useful. Here's one from the TH articles. She might understand it better if she's seeing it explained by an outside, professional source.

I hope that helped a little, and I hope things work out with your mom. Feel free to contact me any time you need anything or want to chat

~Estelle



The opposite of war isn't peace - it's creation
~Jonathan Larson

   
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Re: How do I explain what i am feeling when I do it? - September 13th 2015, 09:03 PM

A couple of months ago, my therapist told me that self harm is a form of meditation. When you self harm, you are most likely doing it because you want to focus on the pain and the act of harming yourself because it causes you to temporarily forget about the other stresses in your life. Maybe try yoga or actual meditation because it is a healthier distraction! Self harm is very complex and hard for people to wrap their head around if they havent experienced it first hand. Just know that you dont owe an explanation to anyone except for yourself. Your mom has your best interest in mind by asking you to explain it, but dont feel stressed if you cant find the words to explain it to her. Maybe try finding an article about self harm and the purpose behind it and let her read it. This might give her some better insight! Keep fighting, the pain always ends
   
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