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Echo1920 Offline
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Unhappy I just can't do this - September 29th 2015, 03:08 AM

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I think I went to deep. I accidentally stepped on a razor you use for your legs, it broke open and the razors popped out. I thought I would try it out and I went too deep because I could see the fatty yellow stuff in my shoulder (That's where I'm cutting now) and it hurts really bad.... I still don't have the courage to tell my mom. But my friend found out and she's not taking it well, she told me I need to stop but I don't know if I can.. Schools not going well and I don't know if I can live in this world anymore. I hate myself... None of the alternatives are working at least that I've tried. I need help but I don't want help. For some reason I don't want to get better, I want to die and suffer a painful death. I want to feel alive..
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Re: I just can't do this - September 29th 2015, 03:43 AM


How long ago did you go that deep? Cutting can be really dangerous and it sounds like you might need medical attention but you're not ready to tell your mom and I can respect that. I believe you're supposed to get stitches within twenty four hours so if it's been past that, then I'm not completely sure if you'd be able to get them anyway. Cutting near joints is more dangerous because it is harder for your cuts to heal since you're constantly moving around. Keep it clean and covered during the day to prevent germs from entering the wound. It should be safe to expose it to air over night. Please keep an eye on it; infections are very painful and sometimes difficult to take care of. Here is some first aid information that you may find useful.

Self-harm is very hard to recover from if you're not ready to give it up. It is good that you realize you need help, but you have to be ready to give self-harm up and you have to do this for yourself and yourself only. You said you're not ready to give it up and I understand that. For now, just be careful and take care of yourself. If you're worried about talking to someone, maybe you can start with small things and build up trust so you can work your way up to larger things.

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Re: I just can't do this - October 3rd 2015, 09:45 AM

Hi there.

Sorry this is a bit late for your situation but I am glad you reached out to us here and I hope we can help you.

It sounds like you might have needed it steri stripping and reaching out for medical attention when you may need it is so important because it's going to affect infections etc. The last thing I want is for you to get an infection because you haven't seeked medical help so it's so important you take yourself somewhere where you can get the medical help IE your GP or if you prefer A&E/ER. I know it can be scary and daunting but they aren't going to judge you, okay? I think now, it's probably too late to get it closed so please make sure you keep an eye out for any infection and keep it clean. Saying that I have had stitches more than 72 hours late (some doctors will, some won't), so if you feel you can, it might be worth booking yourself in at your doctors just to get it checked and see what they say.

At the end of the day you have to want to get better. You have to want to fight for recovery. With out wanting too, you're not going to get anywhere. But honestly, this fight will be worth it and you can do this and get through to the other side. As hard as it seems, you can. Recovery doesn't just happen. Its a progress. But living a life where you feel you don't need to self harm everyday and where you're not thinking about suicide every minute is so beautiful. And I know its hard but if you want this, it's going to be worth it, okay? Keep trying to use distractions; sometimes it takes time for us to find the ones that work but there will be ones that work for you too.

I don't know what is making you feel this way but if you do, and when you're ready, we're here to listen to you and support you. You aren't alone in this and we'll do what ever we can to help you. So don't suffer in silence. And take good care of yourself. You deserve too.

Hope and wishes,

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