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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Bree
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I need to - September 30th 2015, 03:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm just so done with everything. Not sure if I just want to cut or if I am actually getting suicidal, but I just can't anymore. No one listens. I have my mom my boyfriend and one friend and my boyfriend changes the subject from anything I say, literally. My friend is all about her and couldn't give two fucks since I'm not as crazy as she is, and my mom ignores me and sits on her phone and rarely acknowledges what I say. It is hard to talk and no one will answer. Even on HERE I got only one reply for something I posted and there were a million reads. Even on here people don't care. I'm just done. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to feel this anymore.

If it is meant to be, it will be.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need to - September 30th 2015, 03:26 AM

Hey Bree!

First off I just want to say I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down and that nobody listens. I've been in your shoes plenty of times. I'm always willing to talk to you anytime you want to talk, you can PM/VM any time and I do frequent the chat room from time to time and you're more than welcome to talk to me in there as well.

Things can and will get better. I know it may not seem like it can but it can and will. Don't give up trying to reach out for help. Again if you ever need anyone to talk too don't hesitate to message me!

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks

Assoc Live Help Mentor from 11/23/2014-1/17/2015, 8/8/2015-

Live Help Mentor from 1/17/2015-8/8/2015


  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need to - September 30th 2015, 03:27 AM

Hey there,

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through right now, and honestly you don't deserve it.

When it comes to the three people in your life, I think you should sit down with them individually and tell them how what they are doing is making you feel. It isn't right that your boyfriend changes the subject from anything you say, that your mom is ignoring you, or that your friend makes it all about her. There shouldn't be any sort of level of "need," because everyone's problems are different and just as valid. There's no competition in mental health. Be honest with them and let them know it is so hurtful when they do the things they do, and you really want to work that out with them.

Quite honestly, maybe you should also join some clubs and social groups to meet other people that won't do this to you. There are others out there with common interests, so it is important to find them and build some bonds. Plus, it may be fun to get out there and do things!

I strongly urge you to try and strengthen your support system. If you're in school, a teacher, guidance counselor, or school nurse are super great listeners and they honestly do care, or else they wouldn't be in their job! You can also find a therapist or doctor, or even someone like a religious leader or coach.

Remember that self harm doesn't really solve anything. In the end, you will have to worry about people finding out or the risk of infection, and the problems just come back on top of that. You are worth so much more than that.

You did really well in coming here, and I think that this shows that you do still want to recover and do still want to get better. That is something you should definitely hold on to. Try and find any reason at all to recover. You have things to do and places to go, people to meet and goals to complete. Don't give that all up now, because it will be worth it. You will one day rise above all of this and be able to say you did it, you beat it. I know you can do it.

Try and find ways to get out your emotions, such as writing, art, or music. You can also exercise to get out some stress. You don't deserve to hold everything inside.

Maybe you can try and find new hobbies and interests. These may give you new things to do with your day, and it may make you happy as well.

I am sorry that you don't get a lot of answers when you post here. It sucks that some posts get really overlooked. We still do care about you a lot, and strongly urge you to post here.

I know you can beat this.


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Re: I need to - September 30th 2015, 05:33 AM

Hi there, Bree.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time right now and how no one seems to be listening right now. I'm glad you posted here, I really am. Because it shows courage on your part for reaching out and to me, it shows there's hope in you and a part of you that knows things will get better. They will because storms don't last forever.

When you make a post about how you feel and what you're going through, I can certainly understand how it'd be upsetting when it gets very few replies and I sincerely want to apologize to you that that occurs. However, I want to also remind you that just because you get few replies, it does not mean people on here do not care about you. I want to share an example of some of my experiences with you. Sometimes I see a thread and someone is going through a lot of different things but I'll only be able to offer what I think might be helpful advice for 20% of things they opened up about. So I feel wrong about responding if I don't feel I'm able to address more things they're struggling with in a proper way. Sometimes I will go ahead and reply to reassure that person I care enough to respond but I don't particularly like to do that especially if previous user(s) have commented providing advice and support that covered most of the user's issues. Although I've been trying to do that more often because I feel sad when I see threads with one or two replies because I fear they may feel the same as you do right now; feeling like no one cares while that isn't the case. That might be true for other users as well and why they may not respond to certain threads. I hope my explanation provided reassurance to you and explained a bit. I just wanted to reassure you that people do care because I would be sad if this discouraged you from posting here when you need help. We want you to stick around and reach out when you need. I mean that, Bree.

As for people in real life, it must be really frustrating to feel as you can't turn to anyone because they're occupied with their own problems or are simply busy with other things. The thing is, you're allowed to bring this up to the people around you or address the problem in subtle ways. Your mom for example, how about inviting her to spend time with you? Maybe you could ask her if she wants to do a hobby with you, go shopping, accompany you to grab a bite somewhere or even bake with her. Those are just examples because your mom might stay on the phone often because she's lonely maybe? Spending some quality time with your mom may bring the two of you closer and impact both of you in a positive way.

The way your boyfriend changes the subject when you try to talk to him about something sounds extremely frustrating. Have you confronted him about how it upsets you when he does this and ask him why he so quickly changes the subject? Letting him know what upsets you is important so you don't secretly feel upset with him. Plus, you should be able to open up to him as he should be able to open up to you as well. As for your friend, she sounds like she's having a hard time too and doesn't quite know how to be supportive. Would it help if you talked to her about a "system" of some sort? What I mean by that is both of you leaning on each other. You listening when she needs to talk and her doing the same thing. The two of you don't necessarily have to pressure yourselves to provide advice, just listen, you know? There shouldn't be a need to fix each other's problems, just be there for each other as friends.

During your spare time, I suggest immersing yourself in things you enjoy such as hobbies you enjoy. Perhaps you could take up something new that will distract you? Such as learning a musical instrument or even learning a new language for example. That could be fun and time-consuming in a positive way. Doing simple things to help you hold on through difficult feelings and urges could be a good idea as well such as doodling, doing a puzzle, coloring etc. Expressing yourself is also important too. Do you journal?

Seems like you're feeling so frustrated with everything so no wonder you feel done with everything right now. I want to encourage you to hold on though. Things are obviously really hard for you right now but that doesn't mean this is the way things will always be. The tough times have a way of making us better equipped to deal with hardships in the future and maybe even help others out with compassion and understanding along the way.

Hope this helped and also that you feel better and continue reaching out to us, Bree. PM me if you need, anytime okay? Stay strong.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need to - October 2nd 2015, 09:57 PM

Hi there.

I am sorry you are going through such a tough time right now but so glad you have reached out for some help and support and I hope that we can help you in some way.

I think when it comes to your boyfriend, you should sit down with him and tell him how you feel and about what's going on. If you feel he changes the conversation a lot, tell him that and how it makes you feel and be honest. Maybe he doesn't do it on purpose and doesn't realise how it makes you feel, you know? Maybe sitting down with him and talking to him will help him recognise what he is doing and how it is making you feel and thats important. I suggest you sit down with your mum too and talk to her about your relationship. At the end of the day these are the people in your life which are probably helping you to keep fighting and its important to have these people in your life because they mean a lot to you but you don't want these relationships having a negative impact on you and making you feel worse when actually they should be making you feel better. These people care about you and I am sure will want to help you as much as they can but they need to know how you feel in order for them to help put things right.

I can understand that actually not having many replies to a thread you have posted can be upsetting but that doesn't mean we don't care okay? Sometimes people don't know how to respond in fear of they will make things worse, or that they can't relate so don't know how to help etc. I for one care about you and it would hurt to hear if anything bad happened to you when maybe I could have helped. Know that you are NOT in this alone, that we're here for you, we care and want to help you. I am so thankful that you are letting us in and please keep doing so because we're here for you. You don't have to suffer alone in this and I hope that when you are struggling, you feel you have someone to reach out to for some support to help you through the rough times. We're for one, are always here for you.

Self harming isn't going to help you or the situation you are in. In fact in will probably make things a lot worse and make the situation a lot more difficult and harder to get out of. I know that hurting yourself can seem like it will help and I can relate to that but you are worth a lot more than the pain you would be putting yourself through. If self harming really helped then we wouldn't all still be doing it (of those of us whom do) because it would have helped already and we wouldn't still need it. But if you're like me (I started self harming 12 years ago now) then actually looking back, I can see self harm doesn't work because I'm still using it. If it had worked, I'd be better by now and wouldn't need to rely on it. Does that make any sense at all?! But you honestly are worth so much and don't deserve to go through self harm or the pain.

And suicide isn't the answer either. You DO have a life worth living. Even try making a list of reasons to live to help you through the days. You have a beautiful life ahead of you and you deserve to experience that. If you really are feeling suicidal at any point and have concerns you might act on those thoughts, please reach out to us here or to someone else such as your GP, a teacher or a helpline. We all want to help you as much as we can and will do anything we can do to help you through the thoughts.

You can do this so keep fighting okay? People care about you a lot and we're all right behind you on this. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to message me. I'll do what ever I can to help you through the hard times.

Hope and wishes,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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