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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Liz12Girl Offline
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Name: Liz (or Elizabeth)
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Unhappy Completely out of control - October 17th 2015, 12:58 PM

Basically I'm 12 (yeah I know I'm young ) and over the last few months my cutting has completely spiralled out of control. My mum is worried,school is trying to refer me to camhs and everyone thinks I'm a mental case. I actually scratched my arm up in front of my mum Thurday. She was yelling at me and I got the urge so I went to go to the bathroom so I could cut but my mum grabbed hold of me to stop me. So I just did it in front of her. Now she thinks I'm doing it for attention (I've been cutting since I was 9 and never told her till my school interfered last month) and she's trying to get me to camhs too. IM NOT GOING BECAUSE IM NOT A FUKING MENTAL CASE!!! I'm seeing a counsellor at school but she's crap and doesn't say ANYTHING and it feels weird talking to myself. I don't know why I'm writing this, I don't know what I want to do. I'm just really annoyed with everyone. I'm angry all the time and my friends (not that I have many) say I've lost my sense of humour. I'm the class weirdo at my new school and nobody wants to be my friend. I'm really shy, and that doesn't help it. I end up sitting by myself every lunch time and everyone stares at me. Most people I know don't know I cut because I've never told them. If I told my friends they would just leave me and spread it around the classroom. And nobody takes me seriously because of my age! It's so ANNOYING people who know say it's just a phase . I feel like nobody listens to me. My mum doesn't understand and my dad doesn't even KNOW I don't wanna tell him I'm too scared. I guess I'll stop rambling now so if you even got this far, thanks for reading
Liz xx
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Completely out of control - October 17th 2015, 04:10 PM

Hi Liz.

Firstly I want to say how glad I am that you reached out to us here at Teenhelp for some help and support. I know it van be scary telling people about what's going on for you but you've done it so well done and be proud of yourself for doing so! I am however, sorry that you arr going through such a rough time right now.

Surprisingly, 12 isn't such a young age to be struggling with the things you are, but that's an unfortunate thing in the world which I wish I could change. I'm 21 and self harm, and have been doing since I was nine too so I can relate a little bit to what you are going through. Can I ask whether there is anything that has triggered the self harm in the first place and even more so whether anything has triggered it to get more often and "out of control" in the past few months? If there is something and you would like to talk to us about it then know that we're here to listen and to help you through it. If there isn't anything, then know that that's okay too. Sometimes we go through these things and feel this way and there isn't as such a reason but sometimes there is and I just wanted to check with you.

Do you really think your mum thinks you're doing it for attention? Your mum is worried because you're her baby. No matter what age you get to (and I always say this to people) you always will be her baby, her little baby girl. She wants what is best for you and cares about you and loves you and doesn't want to see you go through this. And it sounds like your school feel the same. Its great you have the support of a school counselor although I am sorry that doesn't seem to be helping and you find it some what awkward to talk to them because they don't tend to say much. Have you spoken to them about this issue? Maybe it would be worth doing so so that they understand what's going on and that there is a problem in the way they are working and then they may be able to change the way the work with you. Alternatively would there be another counselor you could change too? Just a thought.

I was in CAMHS for a long long time and found it helpful even though I carried on down a downwards spiral. They were there to listen and offer advice as well as other therapies such as DBT, CBT AND EMDR. And I know going can be such a scary thing and it sounds like you don't want to go, but going does no make you a mental case what so ever. It just means that maybe right now you need a little bit of help and that's okay. Surely you want that help? You have come to us for help so I honestly believe you do want it and I get its a big thing and its going to be hard to start a new relationship with someone and build that trust but its okay for you to go to CAMHS and to build that relationship and to let them in and let them help you. In fact you deserve that help and support so much that I can't even begin to explain it.

Can I ask why you're annoyed at everyone and feel angry all the time? Again, I don't know if something has happened to make you feel this way but we're here to help you through it all, okay? Maybe try to find some healthy ways to release anger such as talking, writing, punching a pillow in a safe manner, scribbling on a piece of paper and even doing things like running or kick boxing etc.

Have you tried using distractions to help you when you have urges to self harm? Things like reading, writing, art, sport, watching a movie, listening to music, doing make-up, calling a friend, playing a game and so on and be helpful but you have to keep trying new and old things to find things that actually work for you. It can be tiring but there will be ones which help you too.

I know all of this is really hard but you aren't alone in it, okay? We're right behind you in this and honestly, I care about you. I wouldn't reply to your thread if I didn't. I know its a hard battle but you're in control of what you do, so when you have the urges, take a few moments to think, do I need to do this, can I call someone instead, will it help you? You know? If you ever need any help or anything, please feel free to message me and I'll do what ever I can. Just keep that head of yours up and stay strong and keep fighting. I'm with you on this and I know you can beat it. You are worth so much more than the pain you are putting yourself through and you honestly do not deserve that pain.

Hopes and wishes,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Completely out of control - October 18th 2015, 09:37 AM

i'm now thinking... you're so young. But you're currently hurting yourself because you're kinda angry at people. But i want you to know is that we all have days like that.. and if you change your mindset, and think more positively.. you'll be able to overcome that problem. Part of anger is how to deal with it effectively and to channel it into more positive activities. Be strong , and remember.. you can beat this.

If there was any event/happening that pushed you along this road, i wanna hear it as it would help me help you. *hugs* you'll always have my support. Always. And remember we don't judge you. we'll never judge. And i think that your mom is doing the right thing by helping you and stopping your from hurting yourself..

Things will work out. Also, feel free to talk to me about this at any time as i want to help. You're stronger than you think you are.


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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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