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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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After 6 days I cut again... - November 9th 2016, 01:56 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Today I had a Chemistry exam that I pretty much failed. The boy I like was talking with another girl and he was laughing with her and stuff. I wasn't jealous, just hurt. He ignores me and talk to her. I know that they are just friends or whatever, but it still hurt. It hurts that he's killing me everyday and he doesn't even realize. So I went to the toilets and cut. I cut a lot because I wanted the pain to go away so badly. I've even thought about using something sharper-a knife maybe. I want the pain to go away and I want to cut deeper and deeper everyday. I know that eventually I may cut too deep.
After break, we had a maths exam. My crush was laughing with two pretty girls and that killed me. I feel sooooooo ugly and he always ignores me like I'm invisible.
I also searched things to cut myself with.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Please help.
   
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Re: After 6 days I cut again... - November 9th 2016, 03:18 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry you're struggling so much with school and your crush. I want to tell you that it's ok to be finding tests hard. There are plenty of ways you can get support for this, such as asking a teacher or friend to help you study, or even resitting it if you do fail. It's not the end of the world, although I know how devistating it can feel to think you haven't done enough to reach your targets. Keep your chin up and think that the test doesn't mean everything. It doesn't define you, nor does it say anything about your worth or intelligence. It's just one test, there will be others and some of them will be difficult and some of them wont be. Keep trying and don't let it defeat you.

Does your crush know you like him? I know you feel like you are being ignored, but I'm sure it's not something he's doing malliciously. He may not know how you feel, and if that's the case, he's not ignoring you at all! If he does know, he may just not feel the same back. Now, this can be painful to understand but it doesnt say anything about you as a person, it simply means he doesn't return your feelings. This is not your fault. Try not to let the feeling that you're being ignored or rejected take away from your self worth. You are much more than any boy, and being noticed or liked by boys doesn't make you worth any more than you already are. You're not ugly because he doesn't talk or laugh with you, and him talking or laughing with you wouldn't make you beautiful. You're a beautiful person regardless of how he sees you. Crushes will come and go and some will be harder to deal with than others, but that's ok. It's all a part of growing up and when you go into adulthood, you'll still find people who wont like you back. But you'll also find people who see that you're an amazing person and they will want to talk and laugh with you.

I know that in your head it may be a little different, and that's ok. You don't need to be ok with everything all the time, but nothing that's happening makes it ok to hurt yourself. No test or boy will ever justify you hurting yourself. You're a person with feelings and aspirations and you deserve as much as any other person. So the net time you feel those horrible urges creeping up on you, don't reach for the knife or sharper object. Instead, find a way to overcome the urge. Find an activity to occupy some time and distract you, maybe go for a walk or run, or play a game for an hour or two. You could start a drawing or do some housework you've been meaning to do. If it's the release of emotions that it helps with, you could pile up some pillows and hit them until you feel a little bit better.

Whatever it is that's making you want to hurt yourself, just direct those feelings somewhere else. It's not your fault. Bad things will happen and there will be plenty of time for you to be hurting in life, but now is not that time. You're young and you have many years to meet people who will love yuo and do tests which you will pass. Overcome this. You're strong enough and you have everyone here to support you if you need us. KEep your chin up and try to stay as positive as you can, ok?
   
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Re: After 6 days I cut again... - November 10th 2016, 08:41 AM

Thank you so much VotesForGoats, that advice has really helped and it means a lot so thank you x
I will take your advice and try to do things to distract myself...hopefully it'll work...
Thank you again x
   
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