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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Catnip1720 Offline
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Name: Austin
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Question need help - January 16th 2017, 08:15 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

iv'e had depression for about 5 years ever since my parents got divorced. For a long time iv'e coped with video games and sports but recently it has pushed me over the edge and into a place i never though id end up in. last night I took one of my pocket knives and cut myself on my left arm twice. I'm surprised because i have always known that its counter productive but when i did it, it was like a high. Iv'e had a disability to feel happiness for a long time, when i cut myself for the first time last night I didn't feel happy but relieved. I'm at a dead point at the moment because I feel scared of my family finding out. I just would like some advice and what to do. I'm scared of myself and where this could go.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: need help - January 16th 2017, 10:59 PM

Hi, I can't say I've ever suffered from depression , or feel what you feel, but something I do know is that self harm never does help. You're right to think that it's counter productive. I know it might be scary, but you should talk to your parents before it goes further. It might be scary, and they might be mad at first, but they can help you before you start doing it again. I hope things get better for you.
   
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Lionheart Offline
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Re: need help - January 17th 2017, 07:43 AM

Hello Austin and welcome to TH
Self harm can feel good. For a few moments your body sends out those hormones that make you feel happy. But it doesn't last. The feeling goes away and then the negativ feelings come back plus the fear of being caught. Also SH can become addicting really fast.
It may feel like a quick fix to deal with the bad feelings but it only causes problems and more negativ feelings and it does fix nothing. It only makes things worse.
Lizzie is right. It would be a good idea to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a parent. It can also be a teacher coach or another trusted person.
But I also understand if you don't want to do that.
Theres a list here in the forums on alternatives for self harm (can't give the link right now). It basicly lists stuff what you can do to deal with different feelings. Not everything works for everyone and it may take some time but maybe theres something there to help you deal with your feelings in a more healthy way.

As for the fear of being found out, once the wounds have healed it will pass. Until then you can try to cover it up with long sleeves. Try to take good care of the cuts so they heal faster and won't leave scars.

Try whats on the list and you can always come here for advice or just to rant. We'll listen

Hope this helped a bit


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Re: need help - January 17th 2017, 03:26 PM

Hey Austin,
First of all welcome to Teenhelp.

I am so glad that you posted here for help. That is always a very good first step. I am so sorry that you have been depressed for so long. Maybe you could talk to whoever you live with and see if you could get a therapist. I know that it helps me a lot to have someone to talk to that won't judge you.

As for self-harming. I know it give you a high but there are other ways to get that high. Cutting is very addicting and since you have only done it once I suggest trying not to do it again. And it can get out of really quickly. HERE is a link to an alternative thread. I suggest printing it out and trying the things on there when you feel overwhelmed and want to cut. Cross out the ones that don;t work and highlight the ones that do work. Then maybe type up the ones that work and put them places you will see them, like on your wall in your room, in your wallet or backpack. That way when you feel that overwhelming feeling creeping in you can do something besides cut.

About you parents find out. I suggest maybe telling them that way they know that you need some help.

anyways I hoped this helped a little.
If you ever need to talk, vent or need advice I am only a PM/VM away.

Your Friend,
Frankie


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Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: need help - January 18th 2017, 08:58 AM

Have you seen a psychiatrist doctor who can prescribe some antidepressant medications?

When I found the right one my pain slowly went away until now I'm fine.
   
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Re: need help - January 18th 2017, 06:49 PM

Hi there,

Thank you for coming to us here at Teenhelp for some help and support. I am so sorry you are going through this and feeling this way at the moment, but I am so glad you have come to us for some help; you do not deserve to be alone at all.

I think it is good that up until now, you have found something that has really helped you to cope with everything that has happened although it does concern me that maybe even though it was an alternative to self harm it may also have pushed away what you were thinking and feeling because now it seems to have stopped working and how you really feel and your thoughts seem to have come out.

I want to encourage you to keep on using distractions and skills when you have urges to hurt yourself or when you feel really low (because they can help us feel better and can help us keep and stay safe), but I think that instead of just using distractions to help you through the hard moments, having someone to talk to about what is really going on underneath could be very beneficial for you too.

It it understandable that you are scared of your family finding out and I can certainly relate to that. However, I want you to know that I feel confident when I say, your family loves and cares about you. They want what is best for you and I am sure that they would much rather know about how you feel and about the self harm episode than not knowing and finding out by themselves, in weeks, months or years down the line for them to then be worried and concerned and to have that feeling that they never noticed anything which ma leave them feeling really bad and sad because they never had the chance to help you but instead knew that you suffered through it all alone. I am sure they would much rather know about it and help you through it than to find out another way and to hear you have struggled with it alone.

Do you have anyone in "real life" that you can talk to and trust so you can open up about how you feel and the urges you have experienced? If there is someone, maybe a friend, a teacher/tutor, a counsellor, a doctor etc, then maybe you could try talking to one of these people. Again, they care and wan to help you and want what is best for you and while we are always here for you, sometimes having someone in "real life" can be a lot more beneficial, especially if you can see them or talk to them on a regular basis for help. You do not have to be alone in this but people can only help you if they know what is going on for you and how you are feeling right now.

Self harm is not going to help you. If it were to help you would be able to harm once and never need it again because it has helped but many of us here know this is not the case but we also know it can become addictive so I really want to encourag you to begin fighting it now before you become trapped in the cycle that can feel never ending and can become very life risking.

Remember you are never alone. You have people at home you can talk too in "real life" but you ALWAYS have us too and you can always message me. We're here too help. Don't be afraid to reach out for it.

Hop and wishes,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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