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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Crying Fish Offline
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Unhappy Murder Me - January 17th 2017, 01:09 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My mom just went through my shit and found my razor blades and tape and all that.

She took it away.

I really feel like killing myself now, oh well.


I am still somewhat alive.
   
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Re: Murder Me - January 17th 2017, 05:03 AM

Hey there,
First of all welcome to TH.

I am so sorry you are going through a hard time right now. I know how it feels when your self-harm tools get taken away right now I don't have any either. But that is not a reason to kill yourself. Maybe you can try and stop SH since you don't have your tools anymore.

HERE is a link of alternatives to self harm. There is a lot there so maybe you could print the list out and cross out the ones that don't work and highlight the ones that do work. Then make a list of those that work and tape them somewhere in your room, keep one in your wallet so when you get the urge to Self-harm you can take the list out or look at it and do one of the alternatives.

Also since your mom found your tools maybe you can talk to her about getting some therapy. Talking really helps sort everything out. If you are like me and self-harm because you can't deal with emotions therapy will help you figure out emotions and then how to deal with them.

If you ever need to talk, vent or need advice you can always PM/VM anytime.

Your Friend,
Frankie



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Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend"
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Re: Murder Me - January 17th 2017, 05:08 AM

Hi, I just wanted to welcome you to TeenHelp! I'm glad you decided to reach out to us, this is a wonderful and supportive community.

I am sorry to hear you feel frustrated that your mum discovered your razor blades. You must be feeling angry and humiliated right now, both at her and yourself. That's perfectly reasonable. Maybe you could sit down with your mum and have a chat?

Essa provided a wonderful link to the Alternates to Self-Harm thread here on TeenHelp. Make good use of it, find safer and healthier coping methods whenever you feel triggered and have the urge to self-harm. Write it out, blast music, draw, color, go run on the treadmill. Any of that negative energy will be channeled somewhere else.

I also think it'd be a good idea if you reached out to a professional for help. It may seem like the worst thing in the world, but it can be beneficial if you let it.

If you need to reach out to us again, don't hesitate!
   
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Re: Murder Me - January 17th 2017, 05:50 PM

Hi There,

As the others have stated I'm sure it's not a good feeling that your mother found it all. My mom used to go through my room and find mine when I was a teenager and it always made me feel awful. It's probably hard to see at this point, but I'm sure your mother is just trying to keep you safe and is taking it out of love for you.

Has she talked to you about it? If not, why not try approaching her and having a conversation. I know it's hard and uncomfortable, but letting people in is essentially how we heal. I would get as much support from as many people as you can. <3

Also, as someone stated above, seeing a counselor is beneficial. I would suggest finding one and talking about your self-harm in order to overcome it. Please, don't end your life over this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can overcome this.If you think you may hurt yourself, please go to your local hospital as they can get you direct help fast.

Hang in there, if you need anything feel free to message me.
   
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Re: Murder Me - January 18th 2017, 08:54 AM

I saw a counselor and after awhile I felt it was not helping. My parents took that as a clue that the problem was medical (you can't talk your way out of a medical problem.)

Then they took me to a psychiatrist doctor and I tried a bunch of antidepressant medications which didn't really work but we kept trying and eventually found one that worked and I've been taking it ever since and I'm fine now.
   
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Re: Murder Me - January 19th 2017, 02:54 AM

Hi there!

Having your mom go through your stuff and find your tools must have felt mortifying and irritating on many levels since it was your stuff. I'm sorry you're dealing with self-harm in the first place. Is it okay for me to ask why you began self-harming, and what is causing you to feel like self-harming as of lately? I completely understand if you don't feel comfortable talking about it but I wanted to let you know you're more than welcome to if you feel comfortable with it. We'll be right here, and happy to listen, alright?

Even though I understand how it'd upset you significantly to have your mom go through your stuff and take your tools, I think her heart was in the right place. In my opinion, she should have talked to you about your self-harm when she suspected it. Because taking your tools will keep you from hurting yourself for now, but it won't target the issue or give you much needed support/help. Regardless, she likely wasn't thinking clearly and wanted to ensure your safety for the moment. She may not know how to approach the issue but I have no doubt she loves you, otherwise she wouldn't have taken any action whatsoever.

Have you spoken to her about your self-harm since then? Explaining to her why you self-harm, and how it helps you cope will help her understand a bit better. Opening up to her may be good for you and help lead you to another source of support as well as strengthen your relationship with your mom. I realize you're struggling a lot to be self-harming and sometimes it's hard to open up when you're struggling but it could be very beneficial to have that support in your life. Talking verbally can be difficult and intimidating, so if it'd help you can write a note to send to your mom if that'd help you ease into talking about it with her.

Seeking professional and/or personal support from others could be very beneficial as well. Such as a trusted adult, family member, teacher, and seeking help from a counselor or therapist. Recovery from self-harm and seeking help in general may seem scary or impossible, but I assure you that you can do it. Take it step by step and be kind to yourself if you have relapses. Each urge resisted and each day self-harm free is a big step towards recovery. It'll be hard but you can do it, I know it. And you have support here at TeenHelp in the process.

In the meantime, I highly suggest exploring new, healthier ways of coping with how you're feeling. When you usually turn to self-harm, what type of feelings drive you to self-harm? Resorting to a new coping technique is a good idea. For example, when you're stressed and/or feeling triggered, you can exercise, draw, color in a coloring book etc. With about any feelings and thoughts that are troubling you, expressing them is healthy to ensure you don't bottle things up. You can find creative outlets you may enjoy such as journaling, writing poems, stories, songs etc. Basically, anything you enjoy could become a new coping technique and it's important to utilize that. Speaking of, Frankie linked you to the self-harm alternatives list; I encourage you to check it out and try out the things on the list.

You are obviously dealing with a lot of negative feelings and thoughts, as well as things in your life to be self-harming and wanting to kill yourself. That's why I'd really like to say that what you're feeling won't last forever, whereas taking your life is permanent. I know you're struggling right now and I'm so sorry for that, but things will get better, okay? You deserve to see what the future holds for you and experience the fantastic days that are yet to come. Make a list of what you want in your future and hold on for those things, work towards them.

I'm hoping things look up for you soon. Let me know if you need someone to talk to because you can PM me anytime. Take care and stay strong.
   
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Re: Murder Me - January 19th 2017, 07:49 PM

Hi

I am sorry things are not good for you right now but so glad you have come here for some help and support. You certainly do not deserve to be alone in this.

I can relate to how it feels to have a parent going through your things and also for someone to find something such as blades, and them taking them away which can leas us feeling stressed and upset because we've become to reply on self harm, so we can tend to begin to think what are we going to do with out them? Truth is, you don't need the blades. You don not need self harm and you do in fact deserve so much better than it and not the pain it will cause you. I know that right now it might be very hard to believe me when I say that but it's true. Self harm does not help how we feel or what we are going through. If it really helped, we would do it once, be better and never have to do it ever again. But many of us here know this is not the truth and is not how self harm works at all but it can in fact become addictive and risk your health.

It just sounds like you feel really low right now. I wanted to try and ask you whether you feel suicidal? If you do please feel able to talk to us about this so we can help you. We just want to be there for you and what is best for you.

I was also wondering whether you have any support from anyone? If you do could you turn to that person/one of these people, for now? Because it sounds like talking to someone in "real life might be really beneficial for you and you deserve to have people there who can help and support you through this right now. If you don't have anyone, is there anyone you can go to who you trust such as a family member, a friend, a teacher, a tutor, a school/college counsellor or nurse or even you GP/Doctor for example. Having a good support network can help us so much and you deserve to have that help to help support you through the difficult times. We are always here but sometimes people need more support that what they can receive over the internet. But please do know you can talk to us about anything, any time and at your own pace.

I hope you are safe and that things begin to look up for you but don't be alone in it. I know it is hard right now but it can and will get better. Keep holding onto hope.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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