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I'm a fucking spaz
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Angry Desperate desire - February 16th 2017, 06:00 PM

I have a serious problem.

Its been four weeks since I cut. I used to to do it on a daily basis. Yes, I know about the alternatives, and i have methods, and i dont have any blades or knives or anything i can use, and IM GOING FUCKING CRAZY.

Im desperate, searching everywhere, looking for any stash i used to have, anything i could use, ANYTHING. I cant get it out of my head. I need to cut. I need to. I have to. i cant feel better. my mom calls me a worthless piece of shit. they dont want me. Im hurting. I cant do this anymore. I NEED MY FUCKING BLADES!

what do i do?!

"Those who aim to avoid their fate, often meet it on the road to escape."
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Re: Desperate desire - February 17th 2017, 01:14 AM


You said you know about different alternatives and coping methods to use, so I won't discuss those. Bear in mind, however, that different alternatives work for different people and it can take some time to find ones that work best for you.

With that being said, you said you haven't cut in four weeks which is amazing. That's an awesome achievement. What have you been doing these past four weeks to keep yourself safe? Is there any skill in particular that you have used the most? If so, perhaps you can try it again to see if it helps you.

Has anything else been triggering you in addition to what your mom has said? Maybe you can try some self-esteem exercises, or remind yourself that what your mom said has more to do with her own possible issues than it has to do with you being worthless like she said you were. You are not worthless and if she can't see that, that is on her.

Obsessing about self-harm makes it really difficult to get it out of your mind; it feels as though you have to harm yourself to get the thoughts of it to stop. Again, what works for everyone is different but maybe you can constantly distract yourself. For instance, you could clean, take a walk, take a shower if that is safe, watch a movie, read a book, spend time with your pets, and so forth. If you keep finding things to do you may be able to stay distracted for long enough. Anything healthy is a good distraction. You can tell yourself you'll self-harm after you do x. You can do x, then tell yourself you'll self-harm after y, and continue with that. You can also try to release endorphins, which are what are released when you self-harm. To do that, you can exercise.

I hope you are able to keep yourself safe.

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