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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Question Self harming for attention? - February 23rd 2017, 04:30 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So today it happened. again.

it was weird cuz I normally just do it when I'm feeling REALLY low that day, or when I'm just so upset about something. not gonna go into details, but I started SH because of stuff that had/has been going on in my life. but this time I did just to do it. like, I don't even know why...I just did it. Wasn't even sad or anything.

but while I was dragging that blade across my skin, I was having really bad thoughts. thoughts like people noticing my cuts and freaking out and feeling bad for me, or thoughts like, "I'm doing this so people will notice" "I'm doing this for attention"...and now I'm feeling anxious, worried, ashamed...like, im one of 'those people' (you know, those sick people that only do it to victimize themselves and so that ppl feel sorry for them). I always thought that ppl who do that are just sick, b/c there are ppl out there who hurt themselves b/c they genuinely are going through terrible problems and feel worthless, like they shouldn't live anymore. and then there are those people who want others to pity them.

Now im really worried. Did I do it just now for attention? Idek...

this is so stupid. I don't even know why im writing all this, I guess I just want ppl's opinions. What the difference between ppl who SH for attention v.s. people who do it bc they genuinely have problems? Does this situation sound like I cut myself to call attention to myself?
   
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Re: Self harming for attention? - February 23rd 2017, 10:17 AM

It's not stupid at all. Personally, I think there are many reasons why people may self-harm, ranging from punishing themselves, to finding it addictive and of course if they are struggling with things and don't know how to cope. Some people may be ashamed that they self-harm and try to hide it, while others may want others to see because that's their way of getting attention and hopefully help. There's nothing necessarily wrong with trying to get attention, since everyone needs attention but more so when they are struggling with something that they may find difficult talking about. Of course, there may well be people who self-harm just for attention and pity, but even then, I reckon they are probably struggling with things and needing help.

To me, it sounds like you are just struggling to deal with things that have happened in your life. The thoughts that you had that you were doing it so others notice or that you are doing it for attention, are more likely just negative thoughts about how you feel, rather than actual reality. All of us have an 'inner voice' and sometimes we may think that we are bad or stupid or some other criticism but it doesn't mean it's true at all.

I'm wondering if you are having much support for yourself e.g. counselling, talking to a trusted friend? Talking to others can help to reassure you, and can be a healthy distraction instead of self-harming.


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Re: Self harming for attention? - February 23rd 2017, 12:27 PM

thank you for your advice.

honestly, I agree with what you are saying, but one thing is that I always had a thing against people who tend to victimize themselves and want everyone to pity them/feel sorry for them. its wrong of me, I know, but its just a pet peeve of mine for some reason.

anyways, I think it may have just been bad intrusive thoughts. I've been feeling really guilty and ashamed about the thoughts I got while doing it last night that I'm really putting an effort to hide the marks on my body. I guess I'm just trying to prove to myself that it was just thoughts and not really my intentions.
   
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Re: Self harming for attention? - February 23rd 2017, 07:52 PM

I think for some people who self harm it can become an addiction so it is something you feel you need but not always because you feel low, depressed, sad, upset etc. I also know many people who have hurt themselves in order for attention but in a sense of if someone see's they are doing it to themselves, then they will get the help the are desperate for but don't dare scream or ask for.

Either way, I just wanted to tell you you are worth a lot more than the pain you are causing yourself and you do not deserve it in anyway. Also please know that we are always here for you. We will never judge but we will always try to listen, support and help you.

Hope and wishes,
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Re: Self harming for attention? - February 24th 2017, 02:38 PM

I haven't completely read through the replies you received so far, so hopefully I am not too repetitive.

In my opinion, anyone who harms themselves has an underlying problem causing them to do so. Regardless of their conscious reasons for harming themselves there is something underlying that is causing them to feel that way. For instance, people who harm themselves for attention have a reason for craving that attention; attention is a human need and there's nothing wrong with wanting that. Someone may harm themselves for attention because they're not getting enough from their parents, for example.

All in all I think you'd benefit from trying to refrain from over analyzing your reasons for self-harming. There can be reasons as a whole for someone's struggle with self-harm, and there can be reasons for each individual incident as well. Sometimes it just kind of happens, but that doesn't make you less than or anything like that.


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