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Glass Slipper Offline
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A lot of SH things. - March 6th 2017, 03:35 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

When I woke up this morning I was feeling happy. I took my shower got ready for college and left. As I was driving to school I kept feeling crappier and crappier. Now that I am here I just feel like crap.

I am 40 minutes early for class like usual. All I want to do is relieve the pressure that I feel in my chest. I want to cut so badly. I have nothing to use besides a writing tool. It works well but I just don't know if someone will walk in while I am doing it. I know I'm not going to do it, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. I so desperately want to go to the book store after this and buy a pencil sharpener and you know the rest I won't go into detail.

On top of that I think I have nerve damage in my left hand and some in my right hand. When I fall asleep I tend to make a fist with my left hand and when I wake up I can hardly move my fingers because it hurts so damn bad. I get shooting pain from my wrist to my elbow, sometimes my fingers go numb. And besides all of that my wrist where I cut hurts a lot more than it normally does. But I have never cut this part of my wrist before. I know you cannot tell me for sure if this is nerve damage because we aren't professionals. But can you at least tell me if it sounds like nerve damage to you.

I also think I have an infection on my leg from my self-harm. It hurts like a bitch. and its red around it, plus clear liquid comes out of it. It is kind or hot to the touch. When I walk it hurts so bad.

I made an appointment for Wednesday after school to go see my doctor and take this up with her. But I just want to know what you guys think. Am I going to be wasting my doctors time?

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Re: A lot of SH things. - March 6th 2017, 09:43 PM

You're not going to waste your doctor's time at all. Getting checked out is what is best for you and I am glad you're going to see her soon.

From what you've written it does sound like nerve damage. I have never had nerve damage but I have done research and this sounds similar.

You said one of your cuts is hot to the touch. Do you clean it or cover it? Maybe you can use a gentle bar of soap and wash it out in the shower. You could cover it during the day and let it air out at night.

I hope your appointment goes well; feel free to keep us updated!

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