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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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How to tell my counselor? - March 17th 2017, 03:08 PM

I haven't cut recently, but I have had urges. How do I tell my counselor this? I brought it up once and he overlooked it and said we would get back to it because it was a "bigger," issue to work through, and we never got back to it. Now he's wanting to push my meetings back to every three weeks or once a month....but we haven't talked about a lot of things in my life like the self-harm thoughts, and I don't feel ready to switch it all up.

I think he thinks that I'm better than I am because I tend bottle everything up inside of me....I just can't ever be open with people... and it's really hard.

Also, I'm struggling with an urge at the moment, because I e-mailed my professor about a conversation I want to have and thanked him for everything and I don't think he's going to e-mail me back and for some reason this upsets me.
   
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Re: How to tell my counselor? - March 18th 2017, 02:04 AM

Hey,

I think it is great that you want to tell your counselor about self harm and some other issues that you are going through. It is also great that you haven't cut recently!

If you think it would be easier to do it this way, one thing you can do is write a letter explaining that you don't feel ready to go meet every three weeks or so because you still have issues you need to work out for, such as your self harm urges (and anything else you feel you need). Explain that you feel as if it would be better if you take care of these things before you start cutting back the amount you meet because it will be easier for you to deal and focus on your recovery if you make progress on those things first.

Or you can tell him verbally. If he asks you how you are during your meetings, you could always bring up that concern then? Or you can call and leave a voicemail?

I bet your professor appreciates the fact that you thanked him regardless! That won't go away, I promise. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself, such as maybe watching a movie or cleaning house?

You've got this!

-Dez


   
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Re: How to tell my counselor? - March 18th 2017, 01:45 PM

I like the ideas given to you above about writing a note, expressing it verbally, or even leaving a voicemail if you're comfortable with phone calls.

Something else to consider is telling him about how you feel he overlooked your self-harm the last time you brought it up. I know talking to your therapist in this way can be hard, but it is important for him to know how his actions impact you, so each of you can work towards strengthening the therapeutic relationship.

Regardless, I hope it goes well when you do tell him. Feel free to keep us updated and know that we're thinking of you.


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Re: How to tell my counselor? - March 31st 2017, 05:10 AM

People have all different levels of comfort when it comes to talking about difficult things with their therapists, just as people can vary greatly within their real-world relationships. We all know those people who are all too willing to dive into a potentially difficult conversation with gusto-- they'll send a soup back a second or third time if it's not exactly the right temperature, whereas at the other end of the spectrum, some otherw will eat a cold soup-- even with a hair in it.
   
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