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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Razor please - March 17th 2017, 11:43 PM

I want to cut so damn badly. Our house has been under construction since december. Anyways this week was supposed to be the last week. It turns out they left our floors undone and will come back Monday. My grandma is so damn pissed at the people because they were supposed to be done today.

you are probably asking what this has to do with anything, well I will tell you.

My grandma and grandpa are yelling and bitching about everything. They are so irritable they are fighting about everything. Plus my sister is here and she is bugging everyone.

On top of that I couldn't stay in class the whole time. I left at 11 when class ended at 1:30pm but it started at 8:30am. I can't concentrate. I feel like shit. I plan on going to target tonight and buying razor blades, for emergencies. I am going to lie and say I have no money.

I just need relief. I need to cut.



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Re: Razor please - March 18th 2017, 01:41 PM

I see why your grandparents are frustrated about the floors, but I know it must be really difficult to be around them when they're arguing about things. I don't know how they are now, but maybe if they argue in the future, you can ask them if they can talk in a more private area of the house so you're not exposed to them. You can explain that arguing is a trigger for you if you feel comfortable disclosing that.

It is okay that you couldn't stay in class. I know it isn't ideal, but you did show up and you stayed for as long as you could. Maybe you can practice self-care to hopefully improve your concentration before you have to return to class.

I don't know if you bought razor blades or if you harmed yourself, but I hope you are hanging in there as best as you can. We're here for you.


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Re: Razor please - March 18th 2017, 09:32 PM

Hi Essa,

Just like Cassado said, I think it'd be best if your grandparents could talk somewhere else, in a different room for example.
As for the cutting urge, try to distract yourself until the urge passes. You can possibly draw or even draw on your skin. I find it very helpful if I cover my skin with patterns that require meticulous attention and precision, for example those made with henna (like this: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/X6H1g7jGs2s/maxresdefault.jpg).
You need to focus on making the pattern then.
I hope that everything gets better soon.
Have a wonderful day/night,
Sue


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Re: Razor please - March 18th 2017, 10:25 PM

Hits there house I'm an adult living there they shouldn't have to talk in private and I'm not going to ask them to do that. Besides if I did my grandpa would say it's his house if I don't like it I can move out.

Distractions do not work. I have ocd. I obssess over things till I do them.



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Re: Razor please - March 19th 2017, 01:20 PM

Yes, you're an adult living in their house, but you deserve to feel safe just like everyone else does. If that happens in the future, you can leave instead of asking them to leave. You could sit outside or even sit in your car so you can hear yourself think.

I wonder if there's a way for you to obsess on a distraction in the place of self-harm? Regardless, I hope you find something that works for you.


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Re: Razor please - March 20th 2017, 12:43 AM

Instead of buying the razors buy something else with the allotted money. Once you use that money you'll be down the money to pay for razors and you might be less likely to buy anymore. I've been wanting to buy scalpels for months on end but instead of doing that I waste the money on books, new shoes or some other trinket that I want and then I no longer have the money to buy the blades. Keeps me from buying something that I'll use to harm myself and allows me to buy something I'll actually use.

If your grandparents arguing bothers you then you should consider getting out of the house, putting earphones on an watching youtube or listening to music or try some other kind of distraction to drown out their yelling. Like you, I am an adult living with my parent and there was a period of time when I was not getting along with him. I live off of ssi and don't get enough to move out on my own. So, during the time when we weren't getting along I would go sit at starbucks for hours on end. I would bring my laptop with me and plug it in and do a bunch of teenhelp duties and stuff like that. Sometimes you can't get away from a triggering situation permanently but you can try and remove yourself from the situation for a short amount of time.

As for alternatives, they don't work well but if you utilize them enough they can help with the urges eventually. When I stopped self harming for two and a half years ... the first year I constantly had urges and I would utilize alternatives and they wouldn't really work but I would do them until I no longer felt like harming myself. Sometimes those urges would last for days. I obsessively think about self harm and used to act on those obsessive thoughts a lot but utilizing the alternatives and reminding myself why I didn't want to self harm any longer helped me get to a place where I didn't act on those obsessive thoughts.


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