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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Disgusted by scars. - April 11th 2017, 06:10 PM

I was looking at my legs and arms today while I was waiting for my mom to come home, and I feel really disgusted with myself. I have scars from my shoulders to my fingers on both arms, I have scars all throughout my legs mostly upper thighs. I have scars on my ankles on the inside. Some days I like my scars because they show how far I have come but today I am just so disgusted. What sucks the mos is I'm so disgusted that I want to cut but that is why I'm disgusted. Now I am going to have to cover my whole body up because I just look disgusting.


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Re: Disgusted by scars. - April 11th 2017, 08:37 PM

Hi, Essa.

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this feeling towards yourself.

Think of those scars as battle wounds in a way. They show what you have been through and the fact that you are still standing; you made it through. Yet they also serve as a reminder to try to be kinder to yourself in the process of struggles as hard as it may be. Perhaps you could exercise the idea of looking at yourself from a different perspective, as you would a friend. If you seen a friend with all the scars you have, wouldn't you want to hug her and let her know she is loved, and isn't alone? Remind yourself that you are loved and direct empathy towards yourself as you were only trying to cope with all the difficulties thrown at you.

And most importantly, don't give up on self-harm recovery; don't give up on yourself. I know it's hard when the urges and life get difficult, but you can recover. I believe in you. It might be easier to look at that in a different perspective as well. Rather than thinking of recovery in the long-term sense, such as quitting self-harm altogether forever, try to reduce self-harm little by little. This approach has its benefits because when you make it a long ways self-harm free and slip up, it can be more discouraging if you were keeping up with your progress. Whereas this way you can take it one day at a time and not keep count, but rather try to get through each difficult feeling, thought and moment self-harm free.

Remember that we care about you, Essa. And couldn't ever see you as disgusting because you are not. You've been through a lot - you're a warrior. I'm hoping you know you can message me anytime you need to get things off your mind. My inbox is always open for you. Stay strong, stay safe and do something nice for you.
   
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Re: Disgusted by scars. - April 14th 2017, 02:34 PM

I really like Ellie's idea of doing the exercise where you look at your scars as though you were looking at a friend's. Sometimes a change of perspective like that can be very helpful.

If your scars are bothering you a lot right now, would it help to cover them up when you can? That could help you a little bit if they're too difficult to look at. You could draw on them, or put fake tattoos on them. Some craft stores, and even the craft section of Walmart (I think) have a henna tattoo set; you could try that.

Know that, while you have these scars, they do not define you in any way. You have them but they are not you and they never will be. They're just part of a bigger picture.

Take care of yourself.


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Re: Disgusted by scars. - April 24th 2017, 03:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Believe In Me View Post
I was looking at my legs and arms today while I was waiting for my mom to come home, and I feel really disgusted with myself. I have scars from my shoulders to my fingers on both arms, I have scars all throughout my legs mostly upper thighs. I have scars on my ankles on the inside. Some days I like my scars because they show how far I have come but today I am just so disgusted. What sucks the mos is I'm so disgusted that I want to cut but that is why I'm disgusted. Now I am going to have to cover my whole body up because I just look disgusting.
Scars is a sign of imperfection and imperfections means that you're a human. ))))
   
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