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Complete Love. Offline
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The urges are so strong - April 15th 2017, 03:25 AM

So iv been dealing with a lot of trauma recently. Working through things with my therapist and with that iv been having a lot of sh urges come up. The urges are so strong i feel like i have to do it or i'll have a mental breakdowm. Today i had a session and i totally freaked out on the therapist. And started self harming in front of her. I usually never self harm in front of people but the urges were so strong i didnt even care she was there. My therapist literally had to wrestle me to the ground for the sharp object i had. Had anyone felt like this? How do i get past this? Do the urges ever stop?

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Re: The urges are so strong - April 17th 2017, 04:49 AM

Working through trauma can be really difficult and even though working through it is a positive thing, self-harm urges may frequently occur. It is different for everyone but you have asked if anyone has ever felt like this before; I never self-harmed with a sharp object in front of my therapist, but I did frequently pinch or scratch myself. I know my own trauma brings up a lot of urges to self-harm.

Some people are dependent on the chemicals that are released when they self-harm and this can make the urges strong as well. If you struggle with a physical dependency, the urges themselves can feel physical, like a physical need to cut.

How often are you seeing your therapist? Are you able to see her more often to work through things, and to keep yourself safe? Regardless, maybe you could try writing a letter as if you're writing it to her to see if it helps. You could also make a safety plan with her.

Do you have any favorite alternatives, or ones that have worked really well in the past? Maybe you can rely on those to see if that helps. If not, you could always try new alternatives; you could look into a new hobby or try something different.

I think getting past it just involves taking it one step, one day, one hour, or one self-harm urge at a time. It can be hard, but it helps if you take it by the moment and do what is safest and healthiest for you in that moment. Processing trauma can bring a lot of painful memories and self-harm urges and those may decrease when you've worked through it.

I think urges decrease in frequency and intensity, and perhaps they do stop for periods of time. It takes a lot of work to get there but it can be done.

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