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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
~anongirl~ Offline
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They found out... - May 1st 2017, 02:50 AM

My parents found out (for the 3rd time) that i relapsed and cut myself. my mom told me she doesnt want me anymore, that im a burden and a loser, that she didnt do anything to deserve a child like me, etc...

She's thinking of putting me in foster care.

im so so so sad, i've been sitting in my room the entire day (im not allowed out unless i need to eat or use the bathroom), no one in the house will talk to me. they ignore me when i try to talk to them, they only talk to my siblings and each other but not me.

every time i walk into the room they say "get out, no one wants you here".

my phone has been taken away, i've been trying to study all day for a huge exam i have tomorrow but i know im gonna fail because i cant even concentrate, im so sad.

i swear my intention was to hurt no one BUT MYSELF when i hurt myself, i had no idea it would turn out like this. i've hurt so many people. im worthless. i'm a loser. no one wants me anymore.
i've been trying to study all day, i feel like everybody hates me. i just want someone to tell me they care.




I have no one.

Last edited by ~anongirl~; May 1st 2017 at 04:04 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
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Re: They found out... - May 1st 2017, 07:38 AM

Oh my God I am so sorry! They are like pouring Gasoline on fire! They are doing exactly the worst possible response.

They obviously don't know what they are doing as parents.

Well children don't come with instruction manuals.

Still, seriously, these parents need to get themselves into treatment. They got serious problems, and their problems are spilling onto you and manifesting as your problems.

I mean, normally I might start by asking why do you feel so bad, but here I don't have to the answer is already obvious. This is practically child abuse.

They should be taking you to a medical doctor. Depression is a serious medical issue. They should be seeing a therapist. They got issues!

Dang I wish I was there, I would immediately drag you away from there, to anywhere else. I don't know where. Right now anywhere is going to be better than there; anyone else is going to be better.

It just takes one good person to give you a good positive affirmation to make a difference in your life.

Maybe you can think of someone who can give you that boost you need right now. Just 10 minutes. Maybe you could spend the night at a friend's house. Call a pastor. Do you know any adult you trust? I don't know where you are or what resources are available.

Oh, here's a good idea. Call a hotline. I think there are some phone numbers posted on permanent threads at the top. It can help just to talk to someone, and they know that just talking helps, they just connect with you, you can talk about anything, talk about red balloons if you want, doesn't matter, it's the positive human connection that helps the emotional brain feel, "Ahh, someone else accepts me as I am, I guess I am an OK person," and those trained people who work those hot lines know that and they love their job and they love helping people feel a little bit better, so go ahead and call them. You can also ask them any questions up front if you have any concerns about the privacy of the call.

Alright. Sorry I don't have any other magic suggestions that are guaranteed to work and fix the situation.

I kinda feel sorry for your parents who obviously have problems, stress, they haven't a clue how to deal with life, or depression, they don't understand depression is a medical illness, they don't understand they are exacerbating the medical illness themselves, I'm guessing your parents never went to college, or possibly don't even have a high school diploma.

Seriously, even the Bible says this isn't how one should treat a seriously depressed individual. There aren't any stories of Jesus acting this way towards sick people.

Well, thank you for writing. I hope this gets to you.

Maybe you can ask your teacher to postpone your test due to illness. They do that for people who are in the hospital, or who are ill. They can give an "Incomplete" grade, and postpone the test until a later time. They can make arrangements.

You can tell them what's going on. They might want you to go see a doctor, only because a note from a doctor is like having a note from God (at least in the U.S.), so if they have a note from a doctor that you are too ill (for whatever reason they don't care) then they can postpone your test until you are properly ready for it. Plus it gives you an excuse to go see a doctor, which is good because you need to go see a doctor.

Just an idea.

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cynefin Offline
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Re: They found out... - May 1st 2017, 02:16 PM

I am really sorry that your parents have reacted that way. Many parents don't have good reactions to self-harm and sometimes I don't think they realize how much their reactions can impact their child. You said your parents won't talk to you; can you write them a note and put it somewhere they'll find it (like on your door or on the fridge)?

Foster care will not solve what you're going through but if you do write a note you may be able to tell them how they can help you if your parents are approachable in that way.

Your parents took away your phone, so I'm assuming you can't call a hotline. You have internet, though; can you look for a mental health chat hotline instead? That may help you.

I don't know when your exam is, but if you have taken it I really hope it goes well despite what you're going through. I bet studying through all of this is hard, but maybe studying and taking the exam itself could be a distraction. If you haven't taken it yet, try spraying perfume or something with a scent while you're studying. That could help ground you and if you use that scent before the exam, it can help remind you of what you studied as scent is a strong memory trigger.

I can only speak for myself but I do not hate you. I care about you and I am here if you need anything. If you want to talk, you're welcome to send me a message.


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Re: They found out... - May 2nd 2017, 10:37 PM

update:

so my parents read my journal which has really personal details about my self-harm, and as soon as i came home from school my mom screamed her head off at me and told me she already called a "center" to take me away. i think its a rehab facility. she also contacted the police and told me that she told them she needs help for her "daughter who's trying to kill herself" (which isn't true! i did SH but my intention wasn't to kill myself)

idk. what am i supposed to do now this is getting out of control
   
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cynefin Offline
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Re: They found out... - May 3rd 2017, 01:57 PM

It's unfortunate that your parents read your journal. It must be tough knowing that they invaded your privacy and read things that you intended for your eyes only.

One of the common misconceptions of self-harm is that people do it to kill themselves when that isn't always the case; many people use it as a way to live, or an alternative to taking their life.

I read through your reply and had a suggestion, though I don't know if you'll be able to try it or how it would work. Is there anyone at school you can talk to about your self-harm, like a trusted teacher or school counselor? The reason I ask is because if you are under eighteen, in most places, the school has to inform the parents. Your parents already know, but you may be able to speak to someone and let them know that your parents need help understanding your self-harm. Some counselors will have a meeting with the parents and the students, and if you're able to do that, the counselor will act as a mediator so you can say anything you feel you need to say.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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Re: They found out... - May 3rd 2017, 08:03 PM

their reaction is purely and simply wrong they should be supporting you not making you worse have you told a teacher or some like that about your self harming and your family's reaction to it
   
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